Wo, Mein Aur Meri Sautan

3. wanna be yours

"Where the hell were you, Shub? They'll be calling your name soon. Go stand with Hardik. "

I run down as fast as i can, trying to flush out all other thoughts from my mind. But it's easier said than done. Ishan looked thoroughly done with me when he asked me to leave him alone. He looked tired too, probably tired of my nagging and hoarding his personal space.

"You're up next."

I swish through the presentation as professionally as i could with all the whirlwind of thoughts in my head. It wasn't easy to excuse myself from the pleasantries showered by the bcci authorities and other 'big shots' in the industry. When it became unbearable, i excused myself, faking an urgent call from the family.

"Kya hua? Face pe array of expressions laga ke kyu bete ho?" Hardik bhai joined me on the long bench.

Oh, maybe my acting skills weren't up to the mark. Just when i thought I've successfully evaded every eye that could see the agony in me, i have been seeked out. I let that question hung in the air for the lack of a reassuring answer or the fear of breaking down. I should have realised it wasn't easy to put up a fake persona in front of someone who had watched you grow up. The genuine concern in his voice had me pouring my heart out to him. I started from the very first, when i had first met Ishan.

"I have seen him play a lot before he even noticed me. As it was hard for any sane person to be not drawn towards the sunshine he is, i found myself slowly but steadily pulled towards him.

But the ever loud and restless Ishan was quiet and drew to the background when i was around. He never initiated any conversations, never pulled any pranks on me, and uncharacteristically stuttered through the small conversations we very rarely had. That honestly intrigued me, so i took it upon myself to open him up to me.

Even after being 'kinda roommates', he treated me differently. He was always careful and delicate with me. He never said or did anything that could potentially hurt me. I felt like a delicate flower inside a glass jar. My thoughts went from maybe he didn't like me much to maybe because i was younger. Arrival of Tilak and Yashasvi is all it took to dissipate my former thoughts.

But my persistence won at last, and that's when the whole ICT started calling us the couple. Honestly, it was fun for me because i got to annoy him -"

"Be all over him," Hardik bhai supplied, and we shared a chuckle.

"Yeah, be all over him in the pretence of annoying him. I enjoyed watching him blush with embarrassment, so i did everything i could to add fuel to the fire.

But on a particular occasion where Siraj Miya went a little overboard, Ishan said something along the lines of 'don't overdo it Miya, it could be uncomfortable to people and especially when both are single'.

For a little over a month, i was drawing the conclusion that maybe, just maybe Ishan was so different with me because he didn't see me as everyone else. Possibly, he didn't see me as just a friend or a best friend. It was like how a girlfriend would want to be treated by her boyfriend.

I tried my luck once when i asked him, 'why do you treat me like a girl' and he answered, 'you don't have to be a girl for me to treat you nicely, i like you so i treat you better than others'. Maybe i read too much into it. Maybe he just meant he liked me more as a friend or a person, but for me, that was everything."

I felt like my eyes were growing moist, but i did not let them flow. I rubbed my face harshly and took a long breath to compose myself.

"It's okay, bacha. You don't have to hide from me."