What is Love? ~Minsung

1- The turning point

Jisung, 18 years old, lives in Seoul with his best friend Felix. They both wanted to become independent from their parents, so they decided to share a flat together. They used to get along well with each other...till...

*ding dong*

Felix: "Ji, I think I heard the door bell, can you see who it is please? I'm in the bathroom"
Jisung: "Sure". When he opened the door he saw a guy he'd never seen before. The guy looked at Jisung with a confused gaze but then he smiled and said "Oh you must be Felix's best friend, nice to meet you...I'm his boyfriend, is he at home?"

Jisung was shocked: Felix's got a boyfriend? Since when??? And a BOYfriend!?!? No way!!

Jisung felt the anger growing inside him, first of all because Felix never told him about having a boyfriend and he didn't even know he liked boys. He felt betrayed because they were best friends.
Jisung: "Oh...nice to meet you too I guess. Yes Felix is here, but he's busy at the moment, you can come tomorrow if you want". He said very coldly.
Guy: "Oh ok, anyway I'm Lee Minho". He said with a smile.

Why is he smiling so hard, he looks so fake. I bet he's not a nice boyfriend and that Felix never told me about him because he actually bumped him, but this guy is just so obsessed he can't get over it. Such a looser, so pathetic. I can see it from his face.

Jisung: "mh, bye". And then he closed the door right in front of his face. After a bit Felix came out of the bathroom after having a shower.
Felix: "Who was that?"
Jisung: "Your boyfriend" he said very sarcastically and mockingly. Jisung actually never believed in relationships that weren't friendships. He just thought that couples were only ridiculous and delusional because for him love was just a pathetic feeling. Moreover Felix was in a relationship with a boy. It was just weird for Jisung.
Felix: "Oh...wait let me explain"
Jisung: "So when were you going to tell me? I'm you best friend and I didn't even know you were gay?"
Felix: "I'm sorry I was just afraid of telling you because I knew your reaction would have been like this...I was just taking my time"
Jisung: "What's so special about him that made you gay?"
Felix: "I dont' know, I just love him"
Jisung: "Ok, how is he?"
Felix: "He's extremely sweet and caring towards me. He's such a gentle guy"
Jisung: "I don't like him...and then, damn, why did you have to be gay? I guess I don't really know you"
Felix: "What's wrong if I like a guy! See? That's why I never told you! "
Jisung: " You like him more than me?! I thought you liked me more...a boy...if he was a girl I would have understood it a bit, but a boy. Why not me then? You don't care about me, TELL ME THE TRUTH!"
Felix: "What are you even saying, WHY are you even screaming, STOP!" Felix started crying as he ran away to his room locking the door. Jisung felt bad but he couldn't stand the reality of his friend's relationship.

There was actually a specific reason that led Jisung to hate love. In his family he never felt the feeling of love. He didn't know anything about his relatives, he really didn't even meet them, he just had his parents. Very cold parents, who didn't love each other and would fight almost every day over also small things. Jisung always cried because of that. When he was alone with his dad he always heard the same words from him: "I can't stand you and your mother anymore, you're such a burden to me" and also "If you ever tell someone about our fights, you'll see what I'd do to you" and at that time he was only 10 years old. His mum would tell him: "Why did I have to want a child...if I didn't have you, I could just go away from here without any worries. Why did I even get married? This is a mess" and she would cry a lot. Little Jisung once asked her if she loved him and she replied "How can I love you when I don't even know love anymore?". Jisung really suffered from that. He had never felt the feeling of love and used to reject the people who tried to be friends with him. He just wanted to be at peace, alone.

But Felix entered his life. Felix was a literal ball of sunshine, he loved everyone and was loved by everyone. He'd always had a lot of friends. He had always a sweet smile on his face, an expression that really flustered Jisung. How can someone be always this happy? He was fascinated. So Felix became his first and only friend. He didn't know if he cared about him that much to say it was love. He was actually scared to say out loud that word that would always be in his thoughts. He did care about Felix, but he didn't know how to express that. So he started giving him some gifts to express his affection, like peluches. Jisung knew that he also had to overcome the fear of the word love so he decided to move out at 16 on his own. He initially wanted to live alone but then at 18, when Felix told him he wanted to move out too, he asked him if he wanted to share his flat with him. Felix accepted with a lot of joy. Jisung thought that he could learn something about love by having Felix by his side. He also thought that Felix liked him more than anyone else because they became so close and they would tell anything to each other. Jisung told him about his story too. But now he discovered that he got replaced with another guy. Jisung wasn't actually homophobic, he yelled at Felix like that because he couldn't stand the fact that there was a boy that Felix liked more than him. He was afraid of loosing him.

"I'm sorry" he said from outside the door of Felix's room. "I'm really really sorry Felix, I'm sorry. Can we talk?"
Felix: "Come in"
Jisung: "I'm sorry, I-"
Felix: "No, I am sorry. I know that for you love is a complicated topic and I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable hiding my relationship. And no, Minho is not replacing you. He's my boyfriend and you're my best friend, I love both of you in different ways. Just don't scream at me like that anymore..."
Jisung: "I'm sorry I shouldn't have yelled at you like that, I shouldn't have said all the things I said. I'm really sorry, I didn't mean all that at all". Felix's eyes were swollen and some tears were still coming down. Jisung started hating himself for making the only person who cared about him sad.

That day was actually the turning point of his life. He knew he had to change and learn how to love.

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Hello everyoneee, this is my third story on wattpad. Anyway I may make some mistakes while typing but I'm not going to reread everything 'cause I'm lazyy~~. Also, english is not my first language, so I might write some expressions in a wrong way.
Btw, what are your thoughts about this chapter? Right now the vibes might be a bit dramatic (a bit of drama is always good), but don't worry from the next chapter there will be a change, you'll see! Anyway I hope you'll enjoy the story and pls comment a lot if you want 'cause I love reading comments😛.

P.S. I'm not going to disappear, I'll write this story till the end for sure ;).