The Shadows We Dance With

Ch13: A Step Too Far

At fifteen, Spencer Reid had become a master of the many styles of dance that Val had taught him. His repertoire had expanded beyond what he had ever imagined, from classical ballet to contemporary, and now, to the more sensual, adult styles that Val seemed increasingly fixated on. He could dance in high heels with ease, his years of ballet en pointe training helping him find his balance in even the most challenging of routines. Spencer was admired by many for his versatility, but deep down, he missed the other kinds of dance—the expressive movements of lyrical, the athletic energy of hip hop, the structured grace of classical ballet. However, he continued to focus on the styles that Val insisted upon, driven by a desire to keep his mentor happy, to meet the expectations that had been set for him.

Val had always been a guiding force in Spencer's life, and despite the unease that occasionally surfaced, Spencer trusted him completely. Val had shaped him into the dancer he was today, and Spencer knew that Val only wanted what was best for him. So when Val announced that for Spencer's next competition, he wanted him to perform a partner dance—one that was sensual and intimate—Spencer didn't question it, even though the idea made him uncomfortable.

Val explained that the dance would involve another boy, someone from a studio in California. Spencer would be taking the more feminine role in the dance, given his slimmer build and lighter frame, which made him easier to lift and move. The routine would end with a small, choreographed kiss, something that Spencer had never done before in a performance. The thought of it made his stomach twist with nerves, but Val reassured him that it was necessary, that it was part of the art, part of what would make the dance memorable.

"The judges will love it," Val had said with a confident smile. "It's bold, different. You'll stand out."

Spencer nodded, trying to suppress the doubts that bubbled up inside him. "But how will we practice if he's in California?"

Val's smile widened, as if he had been waiting for Spencer to ask. "I'll be your partner during practice. I know the routine inside and out, and it's important that you get the movements just right before you meet your partner."

The idea of practicing such an intimate dance with Val made Spencer uneasy. The choreography required them to be close—very close—and while Spencer trusted Val more than anyone, there was something about the thought of Val filling the role of his partner that made him feel exposed, vulnerable in a way he wasn't sure he was ready for.

But Val had always been there for him, had always pushed him to be better, to be the best. Spencer knew Val would never do anything to hurt him, and so he pushed the discomfort aside, just as he had done so many times before.

The first practice session felt different from the others. The studio, usually a place of solace for Spencer, seemed smaller, the walls closer, the air heavier. The music Val chose was slow, sultry, the kind that wrapped around you like a warm blanket. Spencer stood in the center of the room, his heart beating fast as Val approached him.

"Relax, Spencer," Val said, his voice calm and soothing. "This is just another dance, another routine. You've mastered everything I've taught you so far. This will be no different."

Spencer nodded, taking a deep breath as he tried to loosen the tension in his muscles. He knew Val was right—he had never failed before, and he wasn't going to start now. But as Val took his hands and guided him into the first position, the familiar unease crept back in.

The choreography was intricate, requiring Spencer to move with a fluidity and grace that he had perfected over the years. Val's hands were on him constantly, guiding him, correcting his posture, adjusting his angles. But this time, the touch felt different, more intimate. The movements were designed to be sensual, each step bringing them closer, each pose requiring them to hold each other in ways that Spencer wasn't used to.

As they moved through the routine, Spencer found himself hesitating, his body stiffening slightly as Val guided him into a deep, suggestive dip. Val's hand was on his lower back, pressing him closer, and for a moment, Spencer felt a flicker of panic.

"You need to relax, Spencer," Val said, his tone firm but gentle. "You're too tense. The judges will see it, and it will ruin the performance. You need to trust me."

Spencer swallowed hard, nodding as he forced himself to relax into the movement. "I'm sorry, Val. I'm just... I don't know. This is different from what I'm used to."

Val's eyes softened slightly, and he gave Spencer a reassuring smile. "I know it's different, but that's why it's so important. This dance is going to push you out of your comfort zone, and that's exactly what you need. You can't grow if you stay in the same place."

Spencer nodded again, his heart still racing. "I know. I just... I don't want to mess up."

"You won't," Val said, his voice full of confidence. "You're one of the best dancers I've ever trained, Spencer. You've mastered everything I've taught you, and this will be no different. You just need to trust the process, trust me."

Spencer felt a rush of pride at Val's words, the discomfort fading slightly as he focused on the praise. Val had always believed in him, had always pushed him to be better, and Spencer wanted nothing more than to live up to those expectations.

They continued the routine, Val leading Spencer through each movement with precision and care. The choreography was complex, requiring them to move together as one, their bodies intertwining in ways that felt both familiar and foreign. Spencer followed Val's lead, his trust in his mentor overpowering the unease that lingered in the back of his mind.

But as they reached the end of the routine, the part that required the small kiss, Spencer hesitated again. The music slowed, the tension building as they moved into the final pose. Val's hand was on Spencer's cheek, guiding his face closer, and Spencer felt his heart pounding in his chest.

"It's just part of the dance," Val whispered, his breath warm against Spencer's skin. "You need to commit to it, just like you do with every other move."

Spencer nodded, closing his eyes as he tried to ignore the voice in his head that told him something wasn't right. He leaned in, following Val's lead, and when their lips brushed together, Spencer felt a jolt of panic that he quickly pushed down.

The kiss was brief, barely more than a touch, but it left Spencer feeling shaken, exposed in a way he hadn't expected. He pulled back quickly, his face flushed with embarrassment, but Val's expression remained calm, collected.

"See? That wasn't so bad," Val said, his voice soothing. "You did great, Spencer. With a little more practice, you'll have this routine perfected in no time."

Spencer forced a smile, nodding as he tried to shake off the lingering discomfort. "Thank you, Val. I'll keep practicing."

Val gave him a reassuring pat on the back, his smile warm and approving. "I know you will. You always do."

As Spencer left the studio that evening, his mind was a whirlwind of emotions. He had always trusted Val, had always believed that Val knew what was best for him. But now, for the first time, Spencer found himself questioning that trust, wondering if maybe—just maybe—he was in too deep.

But then he reminded himself of all the times Val had been there for him, had protected him, had guided him through every challenge. Val wouldn't hurt him. Val wanted what was best for him. Spencer had to believe that. He had to.

And so, as he walked home in the fading light, Spencer pushed the doubts away, burying them deep inside where they couldn't interfere with his dancing, with his need to make Val happy. But even as he did, the unease remained, a quiet, insistent whisper in the back of his mind, reminding him that something had changed.