helpless Little girl

Helpless Little Girl.
By Me.

Made at 11:14 pm 4/10/24
Posted at 11:58 pm 8/20/24

I don't want to be loved like this.
I'm tired and exhausted from running around.
I feel like Cinderella
Go to school do this do that.
All day with no breaks.
I hate when they send me things.
I don't want them
I just want to feel loved like a hug you havnt had in a long time.
I hate being happy
I don't understand how to.
I don't understand what it feels like I'm happy but I can't actually tell
like a sad book with a cute love story as the cover.
When red and blue blaring sirens screaming outside with a bottle of pills next to me this overwhelming sadness rushes over me like a big wave from the ocean that pulls you away from shore
I can't tell if im dreaming or just dying.
I cry so hard that my face is red I can't see, it's like when you fall when your a kid and the embarrassment of falling makes you cry more than ever.
But this isn't a short story it's a poem about how this little girl grew up wrong and can't feel anything like when your sick and just lay in bed rotting there like a corpse just crying and hurting not knowing were to turn.
It hurts and I can't cry but my throats closing and my face is red
my eyes hurt and I just sit there with blood red stains on my sheets and shirt.
Its like I had just touched a bloody corps crying  but then I realize that rotting crying corpse is me with blood running down my thighs and on my shirt as I cry wondering were I went wrong in life?
The bleeding won't stop have I gone to deep into the ocean
The pool of blood sits there with the other scars I made sitting cutting and bleeding  wondering when should the bleeding stop? Is that tissue I say?
I go up to the medical bag while my family's asleeps still crying and blood on my thighs.
I stich it up hoping it will help. But nothing will help with helpess little girl wondering were she went wrong in life.
She crys out to her mom.
The moment you only need your mother it's an overwhelming sadness when she's not there it's hug you need but can't get so you cry and cry filling up the hopless ocean as it drains away feeling it will never be enough.
It's feelings are empty and dry like desert sand with no water and no hope to thriving like other plants
But your just a dead a no longer living plant just sitting there helplessly wondering when will it be enough?
To help for someone to help thrive them
all it needs are the tears of the rain that care. Or a hug of a mother and the tears of loved one wondering were they went wrong?
Did I not give you enough water to thrive? Or are others stealing the love I give you hoping it will be enough. But yet another one lost to helpess little girl.
When the clouds fight the little girl crys from the Thunder and crashing in the kitchen
enough to fill the ocean only once but it let's the water go as the water turns into blood and tears running down her cheeks and thighs as she says it's my fault isn't it? I'm the one to not thrive I've given enough love. What's changed.  I've given my love and water for them to thrive why do they let that go?
Do they not care. I care says the girl.
I care alot. Why do people let it go or give it back to me.
It leaves my body anyway.
I'm just a helpess little girl no matter my age I'll still sit down and cry. Wondering when I'll be enough.

Hope you enjoyed and I made this "poem/story" a while ago so if it sucks it just does so leme know lol also if you want me to make more I can sooo yeah :D