The Love Track

5. Home Stretch

After we did all of our running, we had a long meeting with coach. He told us what he expected from us and how we weren't performing to his standards. I personally didn't think I was being included in this conversation, even though I was in the group. I mean I was 15 minutes to every practice and meeting, I was even there before the coaches a lot of the time. I always gave 100 percent effort at every practice. I studied my playbook and knew the defense by heart. And tonight specifically, I got first place in every lap. The other guys were hating it, but I loved it, it was like a little preview of track. Our coach had kept threatening that he was going to have us run laps if we had a bad practice, but I was waiting for him to actually carry through. Carter, the person we were all running laps for, got last every single time. He was jogging, and coach knew. So after me and the other guys ran their full effort, we wouldn't count that rep because Carter wasn't putting in his full effort. So then we'd have to do that rep over. And we had to do this numerous times. So with all the running and the meeting after, I wasn't making it to bowling. 

When I checked my phone on the way back to my dorm, I saw several texts from the track group chat. There were texts asking where people were and where they should meet. The final text in the group chat was a picture of everyone who made it to bowling. And guess who was there? Claire Hawkins. She had such a sweet smile. It looked like she must have had fun. I was devastated. Logan had texted where I was at. I didn't even bother to respond, I missed another chance at meeting Claire and just the team in general. It looked like a good group of people, I was excited to meet them. Sure, I could just plan something else, but with classes starting and football scrimmages and games coming up, I was running low on free time. Not that I had much of it anyway. 

...

Our first scrimmage didn't go too well. We got manhandled. Honestly, I don't think I was ready for college football yet, at least as a starter. But the numbers were so small on the team that we had a bunch of freshmen starting. When I got in, the other team ran a run play. I came from the corner position to make the tackle. But even though I tackled the runner, he still trucked me over on the way down. I had tackled him too high, and when he lower his shower, my head got knocked back. My helmet was about off my head after the play. Then on another play, the offense threw a pass. After the completion I ran toward the receiver to make the tackle. I took a terrible dive and only made the receiver stumble. He ran for about 10 more yards. 

We weren't keeping score but if we did, we definitely lost. I wasn't proud of my first college performance against another school. But at the same time, I didn't feel how I usually did after a bad scrimmage or game. In 8th grade I remember crying after I lost my first game. It meant so much to me and I was so disappointed not to win. But all I thought about at this scrimmage was how I couldn't wait for it to be over with. 

...

We then had floor meetings with our RA's. As a group we had to decide things like quiet hours and if we should designate bathrooms as male or female only or just make them Co-ed. During the meeting I got to meet and talk to some people I hadn't met yet. Tyler and I met two girls who happened to be living in the dorm next to us. We hadn't talked to them that much, only introducing ourselves when they first moved in. They were both on the women's basketball team. Tyler and I decided to invite them to an outdoor movie that the college was putting on for first years. The two accompanied us with other members of our football team. The movie was fitting: Monsters University. These random activities were really saving the college experience for me. There was still the presence of football with the people I was spending time with, but it was nice to be doing something other than football. 

...

Football season was more than underway and it was terrible. We hadn't won a single game. We lost our first game by only 3 points so we thought we'd compete well in the others. But this wasn't the case, we were losing by at least 3 touchdowns every game. Our game yesterday, we lost 77-7. It was terrible. I had to go home after the game. In fact, I went home after every game. I texted my parents when I got back to campus after a game and they'd come pick me up and let me stay home for the rest of the weekend. I just needed a break from the team. No one was taking it seriously, I mean I wasn't the most committed to the team but at least I actually wanted to win. After every game, especially this most recent one, everyone would just talk like we didn't get our butts kicked. It's Halloween weekend so all everyone was talking about was what they were going to dress as and what party they were going to. Maybe I just needed to loosen up a little, but the 70 point loss wasn't helping me do that. What annoyed me too was that I actually had a good game. I had a career high in tackles and even got an interception. But everyone else was just going through the motions during the game. Fair enough it's hard for a team to finish the home stretch of the season when they're 0-7, now 0-8. My dad came to the school to get me while my mom stayed behind to work on dinner. As I packed my belongings in the car, I saw everyone else roaming around campus in their costumes and making their way to parties. It did look like fun, but I just couldn't do it tonight. 

I had my parents take me back in the afternoon on Sunday. I was meeting with Coach Porter to check in. We met at the outdoor track. 

"You're looking great on the field Trevor! I watched that first game and you made the first tackle of the season on kickoff! I was like, hey that's one of my guys!" Coach told me.

"Yeah, it's been okay." I responded quietly.

My coach could tell something was wrong. "Want to tell me what's going on?"

"I just want it to be track season coach. I just want to practice with the team."

"I know Trevor. And we're excited to have you join us. But you have to finish out this season. You have to stay fully committed to your sport in season, just like we expect your full time and effort when it's track season."

"I know coach. But the culture here and the team, it's just not the right fit for me."

"I get it's tough. But remember it's your freshman year. Plus, you only have two more weeks left. When the season ends, I want you to take a week of rest. Do nothing sports related, and then come to us when you're fully healthy. We'll get you right. I promise the track season will be here in no time, go enjoy the rest of football."

I walked away from the meeting almost wanting to cry. I felt like a little baby. I knew track was only about two weeks away but I just felt like I had wasted so much time with football. I needed a change soon.  

Since it was Halloween weekend, all sports teams were helping set up trick or treat on the track for the the community around Elm. Every sport team had a different section around the track with different activities set up related to their sport. And lots of candy of course. I was a little beat up from the game the previous night. I walked to the track with an ice pack wrapped around my quad. As I entered the track I looked to the left of the football station. Further down the track was the track and cross country team stations. It looked like so much fun, they had hurdles set up for the kids to run other and batons for them to hand off. Everyone over there was dressed up in fun costumes. The football on the other hand had a tackle dummy. I bet the kids would still think that was fun though. Our costumes were pretty lackluster, not that I could speak, I was wearing a sweatshirt and shorts, more worried about tending to my bruises. I sat down at a table to hand candy to the kids that came by. 

I looked down at the track team station again. There was Claire Hawkins. She had fairy wings on and looked absolutely stunning. I took a deep breath. 2 more weeks.