Anastasia is little (Age Regression)

Chapter 2: Fragments

**August 21st, 2024**

*Dear Diary,*

*I don't know why I keep writing in you. Maybe it's because you're the only one who really listens. Everyone else seems to drift away after a while, like I'm a background noise they can easily tune out. I've tried to be interesting, to say the right things, but it never seems to work. People just... lose interest. And I'm left wondering what I did wrong.*

*Sometimes I wonder if there's something broken inside of me. Like there's a part of me that everyone else has, but I'm missing. I want to connect with people, to make friends, but I can never seem to get it right. I replay conversations in my head, trying to figure out where I went wrong, but it's always the same—just a blank space where the answer should be.*

*It's funny, in a way. I'm about to start my third year of university, and I don't have a single friend. Not really. I see people around me making connections, forming groups, and I'm still... just me. Alone.*

*I try to tell myself it doesn't matter, that I'm fine on my own. But that's a lie, isn't it? The truth is, I'm lonely. I'm tired of being invisible, of feeling like I don't belong anywhere. I want more than this life of routines and empty conversations.*

*But I don't know how to change. I don't know how to be someone people want to stay with.*

*Maybe tomorrow will be different. Maybe I'll find the missing piece of myself, the part that makes people want to stay.*

*Maybe...*

Anastasia closed her diary and let out a long, quiet sigh. Writing in her diary always left her feeling both lighter and heavier at the same time. It was a release, a way to put her tangled thoughts into words, but it also reminded her of the loneliness she tried so hard to ignore. She slipped the diary back into her bag and glanced at the clock on the classroom wall.

Her class was about to start, and soon enough, the room began to fill with students. Anastasia watched them as they entered, chatting easily with one another, laughing at jokes she wasn't privy to. She looked down at her notebook, tracing the edge of the paper with her finger, feeling a familiar pang of isolation.

The professor, Dr. Evelyn Parker, stood at the front of the room, arranging her notes. She was a kind woman, with warm brown eyes and a gentle demeanor. Anastasia had always liked her; there was something about Dr. Parker that felt comforting, like a soft blanket on a cold day.

As Dr. Parker began the lecture, Anastasia tried to focus, but her thoughts kept drifting back to the same questions she had written in her diary. Why was it so hard for her to connect with others? Why did she always end up alone?

Dr. Parker's voice was steady and calm as she explained the intricacies of the day's lesson, and though Anastasia was trying to listen, her mind wandered. She glanced up from her notes and caught Dr. Parker looking at her. The professor's gaze was warm, and when their eyes met, she offered Anastasia a small, motherly smile. It was a simple gesture, but it made Anastasia's chest tighten. The smile seemed to say, *I see you. You matter.*

For a moment, Anastasia felt a flicker of something—comfort, maybe, or a fragile connection. Dr. Parker's smile wasn't just a polite gesture; it felt real, as if she genuinely cared. Anastasia tried to hold onto that feeling, letting it wrap around her like a shield against the loneliness that usually haunted her.

As the lecture continued, Anastasia found it easier to pay attention. Dr. Parker's smile had given her a small boost of confidence, and she took more notes, determined to focus on something other than the emptiness she felt inside. But as the lecture wore on, the familiar anxiety began to creep back in, making her stomach twist into knots.

The professor's voice droned on, explaining a complex theory that Anastasia struggled to understand. She wanted to ask a question, to raise her hand and seek clarification, but the fear of drawing attention to herself held her back. She didn't want to risk saying something wrong, to expose herself as the outsider she felt she was.

Suddenly, Dr. Parker's voice cut through her thoughts. "Class is dismissed for the day," she announced, and the students around her began to pack up their things, chatting as they made their way to the door.

Anastasia blinked, realizing she had barely taken any notes. She quickly gathered her belongings, shoving them into her bag as she stood up. The room was already half-empty, her classmates filtering out into the hallway in groups, still talking and laughing together.

She hesitated for a moment, watching them go, before heading out herself. The hallway was bustling with activity, but as usual, she felt like she was moving through it like a ghost. She kept her eyes down, avoiding the rush of students who barely seemed to notice her presence.

As she stepped outside, the sunlight hit her face, warm and bright. It was a beautiful day, but Anastasia couldn't shake the feeling of emptiness that lingered in her chest. She took a deep breath, trying to let the fresh air clear her mind, but it didn't help much.

Maybe tomorrow would be different. Maybe she would find a way to break the cycle, to reach out and connect with someone. But deep down, she wasn't sure she believed that anymore.

With a resigned sigh, Anastasia began her walk back home, slipping back into the comfort of her familiar routine. But as she walked, she couldn't help but hold onto the memory of Dr. Parker's smile, a small light in the darkness she carried with her.