Batjokes Oneshots

The Enemy of Silence

Above the quiet alleyway, a single moonbeam pierced the shadowy veil, casting a low light on the grimy concrete. A solitary figure, dressed in a tattered purple and green suit, stumbled and laughed hysterically, his makeup smearing like a sadistic canvas. His laughter echoed off of the walls, a disturbing counterpoint to the serene silence that had reigned moments before.

"You're not going anywhere Joker," Batman's gruff voice boomed from the darkness, his cape billowing around him, encasing his figure in the darkness of the night around him.

 The Joker spun around, his eyes gleaming with madness. "This is just a dance we do, isn't it Batsy?" he sneered, his teeth flashing in the dim light. 

Their eyes met, and for a fleeting instant, there was something in Joker's gaze that wasn't malicious. A hint of desperation, perhaps? But it was gone as quickly as it had come, replaced by his trademark grin. 

"You always want to save the day, but what about me?" he taunted, a challenge in his tone. "What happens when I don't want to be saved?" 

Batman took a step closer, his gloved hand tightening around a batarang. "You know I can't let you run free," he said, his voice a low rumble. "But maybe...maybe we could talk." 

It was an unusual offer, one that hung in the air like a question neither of them wanted to answer. The Joker's grin grew wider, A silent acknowledgement of the tension that stretched between them like a tightrope. 

As Batman approached, Harley Quinn emerged from the shadows, her eyes narrowed. "Back off Bats," she warned, a hint of protectiveness in her voice. "You don't know what you're getting into." But the Joker just waved her off with the flick of his wrist.

"It's okay Harley," he said, his voice unusually gentle. "I think I'd like to hear what he has to say." He took a step towards Batman, and for a moment, it seemed like the two of them were the only inhabitants of this grim world. "You really want to talk, Batsy?" He asked, his smile slipping into something almost... hopeful?

Batman nodded, his eyes never leaving the Joker's. "Let's go," he said, gesturing to the Batmobile, its engine purring like sleek black panther hiding in the shadows. The Joker hesitated, then shrugged, "Why not?" he said, a glimmer of curiosity in his gaze. "But if you're tricking me, I'll make sure it's the last one you ever play." 

With a final glance at Harley, who looked on with a mix of confusion and concern, the Joker allowed himself to be led away. As they disappeared into the night, the alley remained eerily still, as if it were holding its breath, waiting for the next act in this twisted love story to unfold.

The Batmobile's engine roared to life, and the sleek vehicle took off like a bullet, weaving through the narrow streets of Gotham. Inside, the tension was palpable, a silent storm brewing between the two men. The Joker stared out the window, his reflection a twisted mirror image of the city's chaos, while Batman focused on the road ahead, his jaw tight.

"So," the Joker finally said, breaking the silence, "Where are we going on this little date of ours?" His voice was light, almost playful, but the edge of danger remained. Batman eyes didn't leave the road. "Back to Arkham," he said firmly, "you know the drill." 

The Joker let out a dramatic sigh. "Always back to the cage," he murmured, his eyes lingering on Batman's profile. "But what's the point, really? We both know I'm just going to break out again, and you'll come chasing after me." 

Bat!and grip tightened on the steering wheel. "It's what I do," he said, his voice tight. "Its who I am." The Joker leaned back in his seat, a smirk playing on his lips. "Who does that make me?" he asked, his voice a caress. "Your greatest enemy? Your most devoted fan?"

The car's tires screeched as they pulled into the asylum's underground garage. Batman turned to the Joker, his eyes hard. "You're the reason I exist," he said, his words heavy with meaning.

For a moment, the Joker's smile faltered, and something raw and vulnerable flickered in his gaze. Then it was gone, replaced by his signature smile. "Ah, love," he said his voice mocking. " It's such a beautiful thing, isn't it?"

 They exited the car, and the Joker offers his wrists for handcuffs with a flourish. "Let's not keep the good doctor waiting," he said, his tone flippant. But as the cold metal clicked into place, his eyes never left Batman's. 

The wall through the asylum was a dance of shadows and echoes, the Joker's laughter trailing behind him in a twisted serenade. As they approached his cell, the Joker's expression grew solemn. "See you around, Batsy." he said his voice low. "Until the next time we play our little game.

Batman paused, his hand on the cell door. "This isn't a game," he said, his voice gruff. "It's a war, and we're on different sides." The Joker's smile grew sad, "Is that what you tell yourself?" he whispered. "Because I know better." 

With a final nod, Batman opened the door, and Joker stepped inside, the heavy thud of the door closing a reminder of the unspoken truth between them. As the dark knight turned to leave, the Joker's laughter started again, a chilling sound that haunted the corridors of Arkham Asylum, a taunting reminder of the love they could never admit.