Ten Years Ago. . .
I'm doing it again, my mind is doing it again. That thing where the world around me shuts down and all I can hear is the ringing inside of my ears. I'm having another panic attack. Everything slows down, hardly even moving, when Father unloops his belt and whips it across Mothers face in one swift motion.
The sound.
A loud, sharp crack. Leather against skin. Only to be followed by her screams and cries. Something in my stomach doubles over and I think I'm about to puke.
Adrian eyes me from across the room. His hood is up, but I can still see his face. His pain, his fear.
And most importantly, his anger.
My skin heats up with anxious anticipation when Adrian pushes himself from the couch and storms over to our parents. I'm too dizzied by everything happening that I missed him pulling the pistol from Fathers waistband. His hands tremble, but he holds the gun firmly against our father's temple.
Love and war take turns, pushing and pulling like an indecisive tug stuck on loop. Time ripples into something much more real.
"You numb fool." Father doesn't even sound like himself. "You think you scare me? You think you'll shoot the one man who taught you to be worth something? Hell, you hardly are. You weak, stupid boy."
Adrian's jaw ticks, his breathing slows. Meanwhile, I push myself up and rush to pull mother into my hands. My hand reaches up to trace the reddening welt across her cheek.
Killing your own blood was — is — forbidden. It's an act of betrayal and something that could cast you to the woods to fend for your own damn self. But as my eyes flit across our Mothers features, the way her hazel eyes look void of emotion and the way her body looks like it's ready to topple over from exhaustion, I've never wanted something more.
"Fucking kill him." I say quietly. Loud enough for Adrian to hear, but not loud enough to give our Father time to react. The last thing I think I could handle is watching him swipe that gun right from Adrian's hands just to use it on him.
A shot rings through the air. My grip on Mother tightens as a scream rips through her. I'd never heard anything like it.
And suddenly, the only thing I truly feared was gone. Father is dead. His lifeless body twitches on the ground and Mother drops to her knees, not even caring that she's kneeling in his blood.
"What the hell have you done!"
♕ ♕ ♕
Present Day. . .
The sweet smell of strawberry crepes overwhelms me. It's too sweet for me to even enjoy it. I'd left early this morning to run to the closest bakery for these fucking things — and all because I don't have it in me to hear that woman bitch and complain. She could chew on tree bark all day, I don't give a damn.
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