Ayla Pezzino thought she had it all. A successful career as a marketing executive in New York City, a new man by her side, and a fresh start after the heartbreak that shattered her world six years ago. But when she receives the devastating news that...
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This all feels so surreal. I knew something was off when I woke up this morning. I felt it in the air, saw it in the sky when I drew the blinds from the balcony door and cracked it open for some air. At six am the sun was nowhere no to be found, when this time of year it's already making its way up to be high in the sky. Ready to radiate and beam down on the bustling New Yorkers. There was a chill that came through the door, different from the warm morning breeze. Something was wrong. But this was too wrong. I could have never prepared for the gut punch that my mom delivered to me through a phone call, telling me "Sit down, Ay-Marie."
I feel like an absent-minded robot. I feel like I'm running on auto-pilot, doing whatever I can to keep from absolutely losing my mind, if I haven't already. To fight the unrealness that I am experiencing, to bring me back to reality, or an alternate universe where the words that just came from my mother's voice in a sob are untrue.
Standing in front of the mirror I can barely recognize myself. My naked body and my bloodshot eyes stare back at me. How could this happen? Why did this happen?
I continue to move robotically as I scroll through my contacts to find my boss, Michelle Sotomayer, a somewhat new icon in the New York fashion scene. A self-made millionaire known for being on the come up. Luxe House, her brand started in her brownstown in Brooklyn but blew up due to her being not just a fashion genius, but also a marketing genius. When I started at Luxe House as an intern five years ago, I had no idea that I'd still be here working with her executive marketing team. Unlike the rest of the kids in my interning class, she had a soft spot for me and I still can't tell you why. She was tough with a lot of my classmates, maybe even cruel to some, but she was never like that with me. I was calculated, calm, perfect when I was an intern, and always eager to learn. She said that I was like her when she was young, and I made it a goal not to disappoint her. And I still haven't. But now I need to let her know that I will not be in today, and probably until further notice. I press the call button, then the speaker button, leaving my phone on the counter. I continue to stare at the naked, unrecognizable girl in the mirror who feels like a complete, helpless stranger.
"M. Sotomyer." She says confidently on the other line. It's only 7:30AM, but I know she's already in the office, perfectly polished, and sipping her pistachio oat milk latte.
"Hi Michelle," I manage to choke out. "It's Ayla."
"Oh hi, Ayla. What can I do for you?"
"I can't come in today." I say flatly.
"Okay.." She says slowly. "You never call off, is everything alright?" I hear the worry growing in her voice from the other line. She's right, I never call off and everything is not all right. Everything is far from all right. Nothing is alright. In fact, everything is all wrong. I feel like a ghost. I feel like my soul has been snatched from my body, and I have nothing left but this costume of bones and flesh.
