I was doing the dishes and for some weird ass reason there were so many knives in the sink..I was washing them and everytime I held a knife I had the urge to slice it down my hand or stab myself
I didnt tho!!!
I'm okay :^
Sorta
I'm not having suicidal thoughts much, only thoughts to self-harm!!!
Wich is very new for me considering I only think about suicide and never have had a thought about self harm....well sort of..I have but not as bad as the other day..
I'm in Georgia rn..wich I live in MN so we drove down here...by "we" I mean me, mom, my brother, and a peice of shit
.also my mom's ESA/Service dog
My male cousin always called sruff gay so out of impulse one day I wa like "I'm gay" and he's like....."fr??"
Btw he's 11 I think
(not much younger than me)
And him and my fem cousin(8 yr old)
Was talking abkut gay stiff since he calls stuff that's "bad" gay and he brought up I said im gay and my fem cousin said
"If you date girls your not my couisn but if you don't date girls then your my cousin"
At first I didn't think they were homphobic but now I'm questioning it
I think they just weren't educated correctly but it's weird since im openly out to my family and my mom feels the need to always bring up im lgbt to ppl so I'd be confused if my aunt didn't bring it up at some point on accident and they heard from her but im rambling an not using my brain so it's fine
I miss my bf so much
My abandonment issues and trust issues are very active latley aswell as my Insomnia
I keep thinking my bf hates my guts
He prob does tho cause I'm annoying and a piece of trash so yea!! ^3^
I keep forgetting to eat all the time so I'm hungry nowwwq..it's 5:30 am rn
My phones at 8%
-I wish I could cry rn
