Dangerous Desire

Chapter 1: A New Beginning

Nervous, anxious, and worried—that was how I felt that Sunday night. The move was imminent, and soon my whole family would be relocating to the city center. The fact that the move revolved around me bothered me deeply. In the countryside, ninth graders usually continued their studies at the local school. But my family wanted me to have "the best opportunities," so I was "enrolled in the best school in the city center, the Vidal Institute," as my mother always said, even though it was just a regular public school.

The problem wasn't the school itself; it was the feeling that the same suffering awaited me anywhere. My biggest regret was leaving the home where I had always lived, my safe haven. The idea that the reason for the move was to attend a school far away tormented me.

Part of me, the more optimistic side, hoped that since no one would know me in this new place, I might escape the bullying and social isolation I had always endured. Maybe people would welcome me better. Or perhaps, they would be even more cruel than those I knew.

I hugged my stuffed animal, trying to ignore the worst possibilities. Starting tomorrow, my life would be completely new, for better or for worse. I would be a new student in the 1st year of high school at a school in the city center. My mother assured me that everything would be better now, as I wouldn’t have to carry the prejudices people already had about me.

I never understood why I suffered so much bullying. I wasn’t the smartest or the dumbest in the class, nor was I the heaviest or the thinnest. I was just not pretty. I was a bit childish, perhaps, and quite insecure, for sure. But that shouldn’t justify the disapproving looks I received, as if I were a contagious disease. The bullying started in elementary school and never stopped, isolating and humiliating me whenever they could. My fear was that the story would repeat itself at the new school.

With these thoughts hammering in my head, I tried to focus on positive possibilities. Maybe I would find a true friend, perhaps a boyfriend, and maybe even have my first kiss, just like in "The Princess Diaries." Perhaps I would stand out as the best student in the class. That night, I promised myself that I would try to be a normal girl. I would socialize, make friends, and avoid conflicts. I promised that this time it would be different.

We arrived at the new apartment, which was small but had a decent view of the school. The furniture was in place, and almost everything was organized. My mother had done most of the work the day before. Today, we were just settling in. I needed to get organized quickly because I wanted to be ready for school by 1 PM sharp.

- Raquel, your room is through that door!

- Okay, Mom! I’ll start unpacking my things.

- The box with your clothes and other items is already in there. If you had left it, it would have been ready, but since you wanted to do it your way... it’s all there. Do it as you like!

- Thanks, Mom! Later, ask Dad to bring my backpack; I forgot it in the car.

- Which backpack? The school supplies one or the other one?

- Both.

- Alright.

I entered the room and felt a sense of relief seeing that it was well-lit, with a white window offering a view of the new school. It was even pleasant. I organized my clothes and my PC and prepared for the new beginning. After a shower, I put on the school's plain uniform. I tried to comb my hair, but it was so dry and voluminous that it seemed to have a life of its own. I looked at my face, full of pimples, and my crooked teeth. The feeling of discomfort was inevitable.

When the clock struck noon, my anxiety was at its peak. I looked at the mirror again, trying to convince myself that everything was fine, but the reflected image seemed so distant from the ideal of beauty and popularity I desired. Still, I took a deep breath and left the room.

In the kitchen, my mother was quickly preparing something while my father, visibly tired, organized the last boxes. They wished me good luck with encouraging smiles. I thanked them but knew those words weren’t enough to calm my nerves. I thought about what the people I would meet at school would be like, whether they would be as harsh as those I had known before.

At exactly 1 PM, I left the house with my backpack on and a mix of expectation and apprehension in my heart. The school seemed immense and a bit intimidating. I felt a flutter in my stomach as I crossed the main gate, ready to face the unknown.

The inside of the school was a whirlwind. Busy hallways, groups of students talking, and the feeling of being completely out of place. I was determined to stick to my promise and fit in. As I searched for my classroom, I heard disconnected conversations and laughter that, though fragmented, seemed to form their own melody—a rhythm I needed to learn to follow.

Finally, I found my classroom and went in. The curious looks of some classmates made me even more anxious, but I took a deep breath and looked for an empty seat. As I sat down, my heart raced at the thought of what awaited me. The teacher began to introduce the content, and while I tried to focus on her words, my mind wandered. I wondered if there would be someone willing to get to know me, someone who could soften the first impression and make my new beginning a little more bearable.