Turquoise

Chapter 2: Nostalgic

What is the meaning of feeling nostalgic?

The adjective "nostalgic" is often used to describe someone who is homesick and wants to be back at home with family. It always involves a wistful memory of times that now seem better or simpler. A nostalgic feeling can involve home and family, but it can also involve a longing for long-gone moments.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

I woke up with a throbbing headache and a burning cheek. Yeah, I'm going to be feeling that for a while. As I try to regain consciousness, I search for the light switch. When I finally feel it, I let the familiar orange lights shine down on me. I put my bunny slippers on so I won't get cold toes and open my curtains to let some actual light into my room. When I finally look at the clock, I see something else lying next to it: my emancipation papers. I thought my parents would've thrown those away by now. As I take a closer look to see if there's any damage done, I see something else-two signatures, from my mother and father. My jaw drops slightly; there might actually be a chance I get to leave without it being messy. HOLY SHIT.

AAAAH.

I can go to New York!!! And live my life the way I want it to be lived. I can finally leave this house and my stupid parents. I can make myself an actual home.

Home. I like the sound of that. I'll have to make a Pinterest board to find an aesthetic. EEEEEK. I can make a name for myself, start acting, and all that. Oh my god, I'm so excited. When I check the papers again to see if this wasn't one of my fucked-up fantasies, I remember the process of emancipation takes 30 days. Shit. Well, I just got to live here 30 more days. I can do that.

I can.

I can.

I can.

I will. In the meantime, I can look for an apartment and a suitable job. This is going to be so much fun, finally getting my own place. I can't wait.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

(15 days later)

Today I found an apartment to live in. Sure, it's very, very, very tiny, probably very, very, very dirty, but hey, nothing that a makeover can't fix. I'll make that place my own, I just know it. I've also looked for a few jobs. I found a few places that are hiring and sent my resume to three places:

A florist

A café

A bookstore

Honestly, I like all three options, so I won't mind whichever I choose. I just hope one of them wants to hire me. Luckily, I should hear back from them before I have to go to court. If I get approved, I'll have an apartment, a job, a bit of money. Then I'll just have to settle in a bit, earn some money, make the apartment my own. When all that's done, I'll audition for a few roles. I really, truly hope someone wants me in their movie or series. If not, I won't be upset, I think. Okay, yeah, I would be upset. But hey, when am I ever not disappointed? Expect disappointment and you won't be disappointed, or some bullshit like that. I just hope I can live a comfortable life there. I don't need my life to be perfect, just comfortable. Right now, every time I think I'm finally happy, I think it'll last forever, but it won't. Eventually, the sadness, the anger, the disappointment will creep up on me again, and I will be in that insufferable loop every time. I can only hope, I guess.

My parents took my emancipation semi-okay after that night, just a lot of mean comments in between. God, I can't wait till I move out. I'm almost positive that I'll get emancipated by court, but still, I can't help that lingering feeling of anxiety. What if I don't get accepted? If that happens, I'm hopeless. I'll be stuck rotting in this horrifying house forever and ever. I can't let that happen. I won't let that happen. Whatever it takes, I will leave.