Don't Give Up on Me

Wake Me When It's Over

. . . . .

"Arthur, you're looking at me funny. Why are you looking at me funny?"

Arthur picked at his breakfast. "Don't be ridiculous, Merlin." It was a king's prerogative to avoid answering questions if he wanted to.

Particularly questions with answers like this one had.

"Is this about Agravaine?" Merlin asked with unusual hesitance.

Agravaine was bad enough. He'd been killed in an escape attempt not a week back, but no, this wasn't about him.

It was natural, he supposed, so soon after one betrayal to have nightmares of others doing likewise. So the first night's nightmare had made sense.

. . . . .

The last bandit collapsed under a falling tree branch. By this point, Arthur just accepted it.

Except Merlin had been standing right behind him, hand outstretched and eyes glowing gold.

He lowered his hand and laughed nervously. "I thought that branch looked shaky. Good thing I shoved him under it."

Arthur nodded like he accepted the excuse, but he knew what he had seen.

Merlin was a sorcerer.

"Let's go," he managed to force out. It must have sounded natural enough to Merlin, because he grinned in relief and turned to go.

Magic corrupted. How long had it had its hooks in his friend? How long since his good heart had been turned? Or was it still pure, still good for a little while longer?

By law, the flames had to claim him either way.

The very thought sickened him. He couldn't.

He couldn't let a sorcerer roam free in Camelot either.

Arthur hadn't sheathed his sword. He left it loose in his hand as he strode after the cheerfully chattering manservant.

In. Out. The blade dripped red down onto the leaves.

Merlin never felt a thing.

The law said you couldn't mark a sorcerer's grave. Arthur decided then and there it was a stupid law. He'd have to change it when he got back to Camelot, right after he'd gotten Gaius to examine him. He must have gotten a concussion somehow. His vision was blurry.

Gaius. Gwaine. Hunith. He'd have to tell them -

I killed your son. I killed your friend. I killed your ward.

Actually, he might as well say, I killed your son, twice. It would hit Gaius as hard.

No, there wasn't a trial. But he killed a bandit with magic, so I snuck up behind him. It was quick. The blade went right in. I think I buried him beneath this tree. Or was it that one? I can't remember.

Arthur collapsed to his knees, acid burning up his throat. He gagged, throwing up the contents of his stomach as he hadn't since his very first kill.

He was talking about lunch. He was saying all the excitement had made him hungry, and he was talking about lunch before he got distracted by some birds. He had that look on his face, all wide eyed wonder. I know because he was turning to look at me, smiling in that way he had, and he saw -

He saw. He knew. He saw.

He said, "Arthur?"

What was it he'd told Merlin once? No man is worth your tears. No man. Especially not a servant. Especially not a sorcerer. Especially not a traitor.