TSAMS [+TSAMS AUs] Oneshots!

So... Nothing. // TSAMS Oneshot

Characters: Eclipse [After he got the star btw, DAMN WAS THAT A WHILE AGO THOUGH 😭]

Genre: Angst, EXISTENTIAL CRISIS THAT WE ALL LOVE :'D

AU: NOPE

OKAY I SWEAR Y'ALL I'M NOT DEAD, I JUST FINALLY MANAGED TO CRAWL OUT OF THE EARTH I WAS BURIED SIX FEET UNDER WITH 😭🙏 It was hard okay, I STRUGGLED 😔✋ Relatable, I know  ✨💅

And since I'm working on a lil' book currently [YES, THE TSAMS AU IS GONNA BE A REALITY AND IT WILL BE CALLED "THE MOLE", TIME FOR ME TO GET MORE SLEEP-DEPRIVED ;D], I will give you all a small TSAMS Oneshot while some of you wait, I think, I DUNNO PLEASE DON'T WAIT FOR IT IT WILL STILL TAKE DAYS OR EVEN WEEKS CUZ I'M DRAWING EACH CHARACTER AND MY WRITER'S BLOCK IS HOLDING ME HOSTAGE 😭

But yes, my transformation to Bob Ross and Picasso began, AND I'M TOO DEEP IN IT  😭🙏 OKAY OUT OF CONTEXT THAT SOUNDED TERRIBLY WRONG HOLY SH*T HELP I'M SORRY 😭

ANYWAYYY IT'S SHOWTIME, TIME FOR ECLIPSE TO HAVE AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS :D

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„Are you happy?"

Such an interesting question with so many possibilities of answers. Some could be denial, such as assuring others that you're fine although it feels as if your own insecurities and fears are feeding off your insides. However, if someone feels like being brave for a moment, they could express their true feelings. Either they're doing 'dandy' and feel like they could lift stones, or they feel like a damn wrecking ball was crushed repeadetly against their mind until it crumbled into tiny pieces which couldn't be repaired by a simple glue stick. And once someone exposes their true nature, there could be various responses given – For example, either trusted friends provide you support and make your emotions feel validated, or there could be some intellectually undeveloped people who think they are hilarious by throwing some things at your way, like "Who cares?" or 'jokingly' saying "Then kill yourself." And those stupid statements may seem to the one delivering it as funny, but to the other person who receives it that genuinely struggles could only drain their energy and motivates them to keep their true emotions further in the dark.

And Eclipse is feeling like dying. Slowly and painfully, as if ants devoured him. Piece by piece. Second by second. Minutes passing, hours flying, and days turning into months where he is solely thinking about how to stop this unbearable torture of thoughts racing and swirling into chaos, looking for solutions that are ultimately swallowed by the depths of darkness whose claws only threaten to worm inside his mind. This feeling of misery doesn't help either – It just gets piled up on the already overflowing stack of emotions. Once collecting the fragile amount of energy to stand up, this dreaded wrecking ball crashes over him like a turbulent wave of a merciless sea, suffocating him in this empty abyss where the light melts away like candle wax.

Why shouldn't he feel happy?

He archived his goal. He has it literally in his palm. He can do whatever he wishes now.

So why does he feel so bored, so empty?

He worked so hard to earn this goal and did so many reckless and villainous actions to archive it. And now, he has it.

But it didn't bring him little to no happiness or fulfillment.

Although he forces himself to feel something, anything, besides...

... nothing.

Well, at the beginning, it felt as if he archived something meaningful, something which would change his life. But it did absolutely NOTHING.

And this just makes him feel... stupid.

He crushed so many souls and lives, made his enemies suffer and inflicted on everyone who crossed his path such a brutal trauma.

And what did it lead to?

Nothing.

An EMPTY version of an achievement - Which is such a paradox when you say it like this. Doesn't an achievement mean that someone gained something? But now he faces the contrast: It feels just meaningless.

But the process to get this goal was the best experience he had in his life. It was thrilling, exciting, derived him this happiness and fulfillment he craves. However, the most important thing is that it gave him a purpose. In his life that he deemed as worthless, he ultimately found a purpose, a purpose to live for – Namely his goal of getting this stupid weapon which his enemy Moon created. Planning, making deals with his biggest enemies, manipulating, and exploiting others and executing monstrous actions served to assist him nearing his goal step by step, taking his time and purposefully messing around with them more than he had to because it's just amusing to provoke their reactions. It was such a fun to see his enemies Moon and Sun struggling, suffer, to inflict on Moon this pain he has experienced.

And now, he has this goal, and this sense of purpose has vanished. Now, he's left as a body with nothing inside.

An empty shell.

Maybe he was an empty shell to begin with.

But at least he maybe had the illusion that he was not.

He feels so empty and stupid now.

A pathetic individual, a pathetic room, and a pathetic achievement in his hand.

Everything now is so pathetic.

So pointless.

So...

... nothing.

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TIME TO CONTINUE TO DRAW BUT OH MY GAWD MY ADHD'S F*CKING AROUND WITH ME-  😭✋ 

Byeeeeeeeee c: Have a nice day! :D

-Squishy :3