{Seokmin feels bad that his friends always accommodate him. His friends would walk to the ends of the Earth for him}
To say it was a bad day was an understatement. It was one of the worst. His brothers had spent the morning arguing, leaving Seokmin to run out of the house just to escape the too-loud noise. He was exhausted by the time he reached his first class and to make matters worse, the professor wasn't there, he had called out for the day and had been replaced with a substitute, someone who didn't know about Seokmin.
"Seokmin, please answer the question." The substitute professor asked in annoyance after a long bout of silence.
Seokmin didn't have the energy to form the words. He didn't want to speak, he couldn't, but this professor wasn't taking no for an answer.
"Seokmin, I asked you a question. Please, answer me."
Again, Seokmin stayed silent, but under the harsh glare, he ran out of the room. He ran straight for the nearest bathroom and locked himself in the last stall. He focused on keeping his breathing regular. That was always the thing Mingyu focused on the most when Seokmin had an episode like this. He took deep breaths in, exhaling them after several beats. When that felt regulated, he started rocking back and forth, the motion grounding him. However, it wasn't enough and he began flapping his hands as well. He needed the wrongness in his body gone. A knock on the stall stilled his movements.
"Seokmin, are you in there?"
It was Minghao. Happy to have someone familiar, Seokmin scrambled to unlock the stall door. Minghao stood, looking curiously at him.
"A friend told me you ran out of class. Did something happen?"
Seokmin tried to speak, but dammit, the words were stuck again. Regardless, he kept trying. Minghao noticed his struggle and tried to intervene.
"Min, you can sign, it's okay." He encouraged.
Seokmin shook his head as his hands began flapping once more. He couldn't. He had to use his words. Nobody would take him seriously otherwise. His father used to shake him until the words fumbled out of him in fear. Maybe that was what he needed. Oh no, his breathing was rapid again. He looked up at Minghao in panic, but the other remained calm. He squatted in front of Seokmin.
"Stop forcing yourself. You don't have to do that with me. You can sign and if that isn't enough," He pulled out his phone and handed it to Seokmin with the notes app open. "you can type it."
Seokmin reluctantly stopped his movements and took the phone, begining to type.
'I wish I didn't have a voice.'
"Why do you say that?" Minghao asked gently.
'Then I wouldn't be expected to talk. People would accept it the first time when I say I can't.'
"Is that why you ran out of class?"
Seokmin nodded.
Minghao let out a long breath. "I see. Do you want me to call Mingyu and Jeonghan? Maybe we can all skip class today and hang out together."
Seokmin knew he should have said no. He hated the idea of his friends skipping their classes because of him, but it sounded so nice that he couldn't refuse. So, once again, he nodded.
*
"Thank God we left." Jeonghan sighed as he fell to his couch. "Another minute of humanities and I would have exploded. It is anything but humane."
Beside him, Mingyu laughed. "I wasn't enjoying economics either."
Seokmin sat on the floor quietly. He knew what they were doing. They were trying to make him feel better about leaving and dragging them with him. He appreciated the effort, but it didn't take away his gnawing guilt. He began to fidget. His shirt was too scratchy and when had it become so tight? It was supposed to be a safe shirt. The fabric was a soft cotton and it was tagless, but it was irritating him. He pulled at the neck. It was wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Just as he was starting to panic, a hoodie appeared in front of his face. He looked back to see Mingyu with his arm outstretched, but he wasn't looking at Seokmin. His eyes were glued to the movie Minghao had put on, one of Seokmin's favorites, a comfort movie.
