I can’t help but let my thoughts drift to Heeseung. It’s been months since we’ve really talked, and the distance between us feels like a chasm that keeps widening with each passing day.
I miss him. I miss everything about him—the way he used to smile at me, the way his touch could make all my worries disappear, and the way we used to laugh together as if nothing else in the world mattered. But now, those moments feel like they belong to another lifetime, a distant memory that’s slowly slipping away.
I think about the last time I tried to talk to him, how he pushed me away with that cold, distant look in his eyes. It was like he wasn’t even the same person anymore, and it broke my heart to see how far we’ve fallen from what we once were. I wanted to reach out, to hold him close and tell him that I would never give up on us, no matter how hard things got. But he didn’t want to hear it. He just wanted space—space that feels like it’s consuming everything we built together.
The worst part is Karina. She’s in our house almost every day now, her presence a constant reminder of how much has changed. It’s like she’s replacing me, slipping into the space I once filled in Heeseung’s life. And the way he looks at her, the way he doesn’t seem to mind when she flirts with him right in front of me—it’s a pain I can hardly bear.
I want to scream at him, to shake him and ask him why he’s doing this to us. But instead, I keep it all inside, trying to hold on to the hope that maybe, just maybe, things will go back to the way they were. I want to kiss him, to remind him of the love we shared, to tell him that I’m still here, still fighting for us. But every time I try, I’m met with silence, with a wall I can’t seem to break through.
This misery, this ache in my heart, is becoming too much. It’s suffocating, but I can’t bring myself to let go. I made a promise—to myself, to my grandpa, to Heeseung—that I wouldn’t give up. I refuse to let Karina or anyone else take away what we had, what we could still have.
But how long can I keep this up? How long can I endure this silent torture, watching the man I love slip further and further away from me? My heart feels heavy with the weight of it all, but I know I have to stay strong. I have to keep believing that there’s still a chance for us, that somewhere deep down, Heeseung still loves me, still wants to make this work.
Even if he won’t talk to me, even if he brings Karina into our home every day, I won’t give up. I can’t. Because I still believe in us, in the love we once had. And I’ll keep fighting for it, no matter how much it hurts.
I look at the calendar which read April 20th. It's Jay's birthday today.
I rush to the kitchen, pulling out the ingredients to bake his favorite cake. As I mix the batter, my mind races with ideas for how to make his day memorable. I want to do this right, to bring a little joy into his life the way he’s brought it into mine.
After what feels like hours of careful baking and decorating, the cake is finally ready. It’s a simple cake, but I’ve put my heart into it, hoping it will bring a smile to his face. I quickly wrap the present I’ve bought for him—a small token of my gratitude, something I hope will show him how much I care.
I arrive at the flower shop just as the afternoon sun begins to dip, casting a warm glow over everything. The shop is quiet, with only a few customers browsing through the flowers. I spot Jay behind the counter, busy arranging a bouquet, completely unaware of the surprise I’m about to spring on him.
With the cake in one hand and the present in the other, I take a deep breath and walk toward him. “Jay,” I call out softly, trying to keep my voice steady despite the nervous flutter in my chest.
He looks up, and when he sees me, his expression shifts from focused concentration to pure surprise. “Noona, Hi. You're early today?.”
I smile, feeling a little shy under his gaze. “I wanted to surprise you. It’s your birthday, after all.”
He blinks, and for a moment, he just stares at me, as if trying to process what I’ve said. Then, his eyes drift to the cake in my hands, and a wide, genuine smile spreads across his face. “You…you made me a cake?”
I nod, holding it out to him. “I just wanted to do something nice for you, Jay. You’ve been so good to me, and I wanted to show you how much I appreciate it.”
For a second, he doesn’t say anything. He just looks at the cake, then at me, and I can see the emotions flickering in his eyes—surprise, gratitude, and something else that I can’t quite place.
“Hayoon,” he finally says, his voice thick with emotion, “this is…I don’t even know what to say. Thank you. This means more to me than you can imagine.”
He takes the cake from me, carefully setting it down on the counter, and then he reaches for the present. As he unwraps it, I watch him closely, hoping he’ll like what I’ve chosen. When he finally opens the box, his eyes widen, and a soft laugh escapes his lips.
“It’s perfect,” he says, looking up at me with a warmth in his gaze that makes my heart skip a beat. “You didn’t have to do all this, but I’m so glad you did. It’s the best birthday surprise I could have asked for.”
I can’t help but smile back at him, feeling a sense of contentment that I haven’t felt in a long time. Seeing him happy, knowing that I’ve brought a little light into his day, makes everything else fade into the background.
Jay sets the present aside and steps closer, his expression turning serious but still soft. “You’ve done so much for me. More than you know. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to thank you enough.”
His words touch something deep inside me, and for a moment, I’m overwhelmed by the depth of the connection between us. Jay has been my support, my friend, my healer.
“Happy birthday, Jay,” I say softly, feeling a rush of affection for him that I can’t quite put into words.
“Thank you, noona” he replies, his voice equally soft. “This is a birthday I’ll never forget.”
YOU ARE READING
𝑵𝒐𝒏𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒕 || Lee Heeseung ✓
Fanfiction"you don't know? playing hard to get is your charm"
