Phantom Rider: The Aftermath | Book 1

Loneliness

Mila's POV
My birthday.

I sat alone in a shabby hostel room, staring at a single cupcake with one candle and a bottle of gin. Twenty-three years of life, and I was completely alone.

I made a wish: to never feel this loneliness again. There was no one to call, no presents, no parties, no greetings. The room smelled of mold, and the bed sheets might not have been washed since the last visitors.

Tokyo was much more uncomfortable when you're not rich and influential. I couldn't attend car races for fear of being recognized. I had no idea where Bill lives now, they had sold the old house. So I lingered alone for weeks, struggling with the realization that maybe I'd been a spoiled brat all this time.

I had daydreamed many times before, always managing to pull myself back when they felt too real. But tonight, I let myself go completely.

Sergei arrived first, as always, joking around and bringing his famous cinnamon buns and a small book of our travel photos. Then Alice arrived, the one who never hurt me. She chattered as usual, her bag stuffed with champagne bottles and those silly paper party hats. My mom, meanwhile, set the table and brought food.

The boys arrived late. Georg handed me a carefully packed gift, and Gustav smiled, "It's from both of us!" They rushed to help my mom with the things. Tom and Taylor walked in, looking like superstars. "I got you something over the top for my spoiled friend," had become a running joke between Taylor and me. Tom stood next to me, clueless about what might be in that gift.

I waited for Bill. "Where is he?"

"Where are you, Bill?!" My daydreams faded into the harshness of reality.

"I miss you so much!" I cried bitterly. There was nothing - just my memories, coming and fading chaotically, still disrupted by the torture I endured in the facility. I had nothing to hold onto - no pictures, no items - as if he never existed.

Maybe that's it? Twenty-three years might be enough for me. For the first time, the thought of ending it all crept into my mind. It wasn't out of desperation or fear, but a peaceful, almost nurturing thought.

Bill's POV

It's her birthday. I wondered where she was, what she was doing. I knew she's alive - I felt that. The same way I knew Tom was alive before. A car crash is the oldest stunt in the "how to fake your death" playbook. Thinking of her had become my secret, guilty pleasure. I told no one that she still lived in my head - what kind of life she had there.

If Tom knew that even now, Mila's face was the only one I saw whenever I slept with someone at a club or jerked off alone. Even more insane - every little thing reminded me of her. Coffee mugs, sugar bowls, my own car, leather jacket, or the smell of fresh wind - all brought her to mind. Tom would kill me too.

The good thing is that thoughts are private, and no one can read them. The bad thing is,Tom somehow read mine more often than I liked, so I avoided him whenever I could.

"Hey, wait!" Tom shouted as I was leaving.

"What is it?" I turned, slightly annoyed.

"I'm going home!" Tom announced.

"What, like now?" I asked, surprised.

"Yes, like now! Taylor isn't picking up the phone. We had another fight yesterday, and she's not answering anymore." He sounded urgent.

"What's her problem?" I asked, annoyed by yet another woman's tantrum.

"What's her problem?! Are you fucking serious right now?" Tom's sudden anger caught me off guard.

"I told her I'd be away for two weeks, and it's been months! She's raising my child alone. Do you even realize how hard that is?" Tom's words cut right through me.

"No, I don't realize that. How could I?" I couldn't hide my sadness.

"Fuck, I didn't mean it!" Tom's anger softened.

"No, I'm sorry. It's fine. I'm fine," I steadied my voice.

"Please come with me! Don't stay here in this hellhole. Prague is much more peaceful and healing." Tom's hopeful eyes pained me.

"I'll stay here. I want to keep working. We need money, and we need someone here to maintain order." I lied to Tom. I wanted to stay, hoping that one day she might come back to Tokyo. I didn't know exactly what I wanted from her, but I needed to see her face before I handed her over to Tom for the death penalty. I just wanted to see her. Is that too much to ask?

Mila's POV

I can't do this. I decided to go for a long night walk to the city center. It was either that or public transport, a luxury I couldn't afford at the moment. My money was running out.

I wondered what it looked like back in Shibuya, staring at the vibrant city lights in the distance. Is it still the same? Neon lights, gang fights, races, and action. It felt nostalgic.

"Is Bill there? How do I find him without anyone seeing me?" I replayed what I would say when finally meeting him, all possible scenarios and his reactions, but hoped for only one - his understanding. Another luxury I couldn't afford.

Bill's POV

Later that day, I drove home from the airport, feeling consumed by emptiness. I had been avoiding Tom, but his presence always brought me peace, knowing he was around. Alone now, my thoughts grew louder and louder. "Maybe I should go to Gustav's place tonight?" I thought.

Tom and I had rented our own apartment to give our friends some peace after everything that had happened. Now, it felt like childhood monsters were crawling out from under the bed, waiting for me at home. Not only that, but the monsters from my past were sitting patiently in my car, waiting for me to unleash them. I was heading home to be alone for the first time.

"No, I'm not spending this night alone," I decided.

I took out my phone and looked through my contacts - Vanessa or Laura. I picked Laura, the tall blonde model I met at a race and dated for a while before realizing I loved Mila. I wanted someone easy, someone who already liked me, so I wouldn't have to seduce her.

"Hey, sweetheart, how's life?" I asked.

"Bill? I never expected you to call me again! What a nice surprise!" Her excitement was as usual.

"What are you doing tonight? How about I pick you up in half an hour?" I tried to sound upbeat.

"Wow, you don't waste time with small talk, do you?" she replied, blissfully unaware.

"I need you! Just for tonight!" I said, sounding more confident than I felt.

"Okay, I'm getting ready! Are we going to race?" she squeaked with excitement.

"No, I'm taking you to my place. Don't bother getting ready. I'll be taking those clothes off you anyway," I commanded.

"Damn, you're direct!" I could hear the nervous excitement in her voice.

I picked her up, and she slid into the passenger seat next to me. I blasted the music and offered her a smoke. We both rolled down the windows, and the wind tossed her hair around as she sang along to the songs. A bit of excitement returned to my life, but looking at her, I felt nothing. She was beautiful, the moment was perfect, yet I didn't feel a single spark. I had hoped I would feel something, anything.

Maybe waiting to feel was a mistake. The monsters still lurked in the backseat, visible only to me, choking me from behind as I forced a smile.

Suddenly, a different monster caught me off guard. I slammed on the brakes, stopping the car abruptly. I looked around, but no one was there. I could've sworn I saw Mila's small frame on the sidewalk. I'd recognize her even with my eyes closed. "Am I losing my mind?"

"What happened?" Laura's eyes widened.

"Shit, I said that out loud?" I shrugged. "I thought I saw something. Wait in the car, don't step out. I need to check it out."