The Space Between

TWELVE

I can't believe I'm in Baltimore now. Two shows lined up, one at the Baltimore Soundstage and the other at the Pier Six Pavilion. It's all so surreal. I just texted Vivian to thank her for keeping me company in Philly and Pittsburgh. We had such a blast hanging out together; it made the tour feel less lonely.

Right now, I'm in Costco, trying to restock the pantry and mini fridge in my tour bus. My list is pretty straightforward: cheddar popcorn, Dot's pretzels, chocolate chip cookies, Celsius energy drinks, water, bananas, apples, and clementines. But, of course, I can't resist the free samples! I just had some chocolate-covered strawberries and mini cheesecake bites. So good!

As I navigate through the aisles, I'm trying to stay focused. I know Costco can get pricey, and I don't want to blow my budget on impulse buys. It's tempting, though, with all the delicious food and interesting items around every corner. I keep reminding myself that I need to stick to my list.

I think back to the advice Rita gave me about staying focused, ambitious, and following my heart. The focus part, it's funny how it applies even in situations like this. Touring is exhausting, but moments like these, where I get to take care of myself and prepare for the next leg of the journey, make it all worth it. 

As I continue to shop around Costco, I suddenly notice two familiar faces in the distance. "Morgan? Tristan?" I holler in excitement. Morgan's eyes light up and we immediately pull each other into a hug. Tristan waves hello, and they both follow me as I continue to grab my essentials.

We catch up right away. "How have you guys been?" I ask, genuinely curious.

Morgan grins. "We've been great! Just been enjoying life lately and I'm working on an EP too. What about you?"

I smile back. "I've been good! I had some amazing shows in Philly and Pittsburgh. I even hung out with a friend, Vivian. It was so much fun. One of my favorite memories was my last day in Pittsburgh when Vivian and I went to Dave and Buster's and Shenley Park. We had such a blast!"

"That sounds awesome," Tristan says, nodding. "We're here to buy a dessert for a family reunion. I'm meeting Morgan's relatives for the first time, and I'm a bit nervous."

Morgan laughs softly and kisses his cheek. "Don't worry, pookie bug. They'll love you."

I can't help but feel genuinely happy for them. "You two are adorable," I say, chuckling.

As we continue shopping, I bring up Malia. "Things with Malia feel alright, but I've noticed she's been kind of distant lately. We usually call every night but it's like she doesn't want to talk to me."

Morgan's tone changes immediately, and she pulls out her phone. "Do you know about the J-14 article?" she asks.

I'm confused. "No, what article?"

Morgan shows me the article on her phone. "It's about you and Vivian. It suggests that you two might be more than friends."

I stare at the screen, my heart sinking. "Oh no... Malia must think that I may be into Vivian, or that Vivian is into me, or that we are into each other."

Tristan looks concerned. "That must be tough. Have you talked to Malia about it?"

I shake my head, frowning. "No, I didn't even know about this article until now. It all makes sense though. That's probably why she's been distant."

Morgan places a comforting hand on my shoulder. "You should talk to her and clear things up. I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding."

"Yeah, it is a huge misunderstanding. Vivian is a childhood friend. That photo is completely out of context." I say, sighing. "I'll call her tonight and explain everything."

As we continue shopping, the joy I felt moments ago is now overshadowed by this new worry. I hope Malia understands and that we can work things out.

I sit on my tour bus, my mind racing as I'm about to make an uneasy decision. The weight of it all presses down on me, but I know this is something I have to do. With a heavy heart, I opened Instagram and began typing a heartfelt apology to all those who had bought tickets for my Baltimore and Charlotte shows.

Hey everyone, I have some unfortunate news. Due to something very important that has come up, I have to cancel my shows in Baltimore and Charlotte. Everyone will get a full refund. I deeply appreciate your support, understanding, and love during this time. Thank you for being the best fans in the world.

I hesitate for a moment, my finger hovering over the share button. Taking a deep breath, I press it and then exit Instagram, feeling a mix of relief and anxiety wash over me. I know my fans will be disappointed, but I hope they will understand. I mean they already know about the article anyway.

I told the driver and the band about my decision. They listened intently as I poured out my heart, sharing the reasons behind my choice. To my relief, they understood and respected my decision. Their support means the world to me, and it makes the burden a little easier to bear.

Next, I started looking at flights to L.A. I need to see Malia and talk things out face to face. It is the only way I could truly address what has gone on. As much as I appreciate and love my fans and what I do, Malia is my top priority and the most important person in my life right now.

As I scroll through the flight options, my thoughts drift to Malia. With a newfound resolve, I book the earliest flight to L.A. and prepare myself for the journey ahead.