the fire under the ice | j.hale

3 | strange

They were strange—beautiful, fascinating, and unsettling. I had just finished my homework and was sitting on my porch when, for the hundredth time, I found myself thinking about the Cullens. Emmett and Rosalie had already taken my breath away, and Alice Cullen had the same effect. She had tried to make conversation with me, which made me uncomfortable. Alice was both different from and similar to her siblings. Like my sister and me, Alice and Rosalie were physical opposites. Rosalie, a tall blonde, looked like a work of art. Alice, with her small stature and short black hair sticking out in all directions, reminded me of a pixie. Their incredible beauty was the only thing that connected them.

I managed to push thoughts of these three beings from my mind until lunchtime. Mike, cornering me between classes, invited me to eat with him and his friends. I was tempted to refuse, but it seemed preferable to eating alone, subjected to others' stares. Mike introduced me to Jessica, Angela, Lauren, Tyler, and Eric—whom I already knew. As I listened distractedly to their conversation, I felt observed. I raised my head, my gaze instinctively falling on the table at the back.

I recognized the Cullens I'd met and noticed three others. Before I could observe two of them, my eyes locked with the third's. His eyes were golden or amber. My thoughts blurred for a few seconds, and I quickly lowered my head. It felt as if someone had punched me in the stomach. At that moment, Jessica pointed out that the Cullens were looking at me strangely and took it upon herself to divulge what she knew.

Apparently, they were the adopted children of a doctor and an interior designer, except for Bella, who was Edward's girlfriend. I realized Jessica was referring to the ones I hadn't looked at. Emmett and Rosalie were also a couple, leaving only Alice and Jasper. Jasper—so that was his name. Annoyed by this boy, Jessica's gossip, and especially myself, I abruptly stood up and left the table.

I walked to a tree behind the school and sat at its base. I was angry with myself for my behavior. It wasn't Jessica's or the others' fault that I was so withdrawn. Nor was it Jasper's fault that he was so striking, that his eyes were so enchanting, and that he looked as lost as I did. I couldn't reasonably blame him for his appearance. To regain my composure, I let my thoughts drift back to San Francisco. I'd had a few boyfriends there, but nothing serious—or at least, none that made me want something serious. The only one who stood out was Jason. We'd only spent a few months together when I was fifteen, but those eight months had been intense. With him, I discovered many things: feelings, desire, sexuality, the longing for freedom and emancipation. I ended things when they became too serious. I had feelings for him but wasn't in love, and I didn't want to start a serious relationship so young and inexperienced. Jason, being who he was, respected my decision even though I was breaking his heart. The pain I'd seen in his eyes had left a deep mark on me. When I noticed people heading towards the building, I got up and followed their direction.

I paused when I spotted Jasper at the entrance, his eyes fixed on his phone. His well-defined features captivated me—I couldn't fathom how such beauty could exist. As I approached, he looked up and met my gaze. His expression was gentle and kind. He offered such a warm smile that I couldn't help but return it. Passing by him, I felt unusually small. My already considerable shyness intensified, and I disliked how he intimidated me.

I didn't encounter any of them again until classes ended, which was a relief. What wasn't a relief was that he dominated my thoughts. No matter how I tried to occupy myself at home, my mind kept returning to him. It was pathetic. Beyond his otherworldly looks, he was likely just an ordinary boy, and I wasn't one to be superficially infatuated. Yet I sensed it wasn't just about his appearance. Emmett was equally perfect, but he hadn't affected me even a fraction as much as Jasper had. My phone's ring interrupted my musings. I smiled, seeing Marcus's name on the screen.