Chapter 5

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Preston's POV

His hand is on my side. It's been there for minutes, seconds, I don't know. I do know that I'm not falling anymore.

I turn my face to him and his cheeks immediately flood with color. He's embarrassed, he looks kinda cute.

No.

"Um...Thanks," I offer weakly. I feel the heat in my cheeks and I move. His hand drops to his waist and I continue to move backwards, maneuvering the best I can on crutches.

I see his lips moving but I don't hear anything.

There is nothing between you. Absolutely nothing.

I remember my mothers words. There can't be anything. Not if I still want a family.

I realize he's done talking so I nod, hoping it was the right response. He begins walking toward the door and I follow. Then after a blur of driving and crappy pop music I'm in my apartment. The thought has been crossing my mind since Rob left but I wouldn't let myself believe it.

I walk into the closet and my worst fear is confirmed. The blades, all of the precious metal, is laying across the floor.

Rob.
He knows.
NoNoNoNo

Then a new idea crosses my mind.

What will he do?

"Fuck!" I yell. I reserve the bad language for times it is necessary. I grew up in a household full of it and I've lost my taste for it.

God I'm so stupid! How could I have let him see. I should've come with him.

What is he going to do?

I try calling him a few times but it goes straight to voicemail. I try not to assume the worst.

Maybe his phone is dead? Maybe he has it powered off for a reason?

I shake my head, letting my imagination take control. I force myself to take deep breaths and calm down. I close my eyes and let the tiredness sink in.

My sleep the previous night was filled with gaps and hours of laying in the darkness. That's how it's been most nights. I feel myself slipping away into sleep.

I wake up, looking at the clock. It's 5:30! I've been asleep for 6 full hours. I am about to praise myself for getting real sleep when I remember. Rob.

I rush to my phone to see nothing from him. Nothing from anybody. I hobble downstairs to my car, doing my best to maneuver the staircase.

Driving is a task. Every time I press the pedal a shooting pain fires up through my leg. I drive anyways.

I pull into the driveway of his house to find it empty. Every room is cleared out, nothing of Robert Latsky remains. I walk to the kitchen and find a small not sitting on the counter. I assume the worst before even opening it.

I'm sorry Preston,
I had to go.

You broke my heart.
Words can cut deep, especially the ones left unsaid.
If you want to find me, take "the road". I'll probably be long gone by then though.

I think..the road? It hits me as I get back to the car.

The street lamps are the only thing lighting the way when I reach his car. It's sitting empty on the side of the road.

I stumble into the tree line, shouting his name before the darkness consumes me.

I jerk my head straight up, looking at the clock, but I can't see. Once the rush of blood to my head settles I read the time. It's 4:15 and I sigh in relief. It was a dream. no. It was a nightmare.

I pick up my phone to see several texts and calls from the pack. They are all sorry and concerned for my ankle. I scroll through them until I find a message from Rob.

A simple one, but it means the world to me. I never want to go through the feeling of losing him again.

I find my crutches laying on the floor, barely out of reach. I lean over, reaching out my arm as far as it can go. My fingertips brush the bar and I grab.
I try pulling it closer with my fingertips, finding it much harder than it seems.

Is this how I'm going to have to live until I get this stupid thing off?

Using the side of my bed, I pull myself up and sit back down on the edge of my bed.

Mr.Woofless

Hey just wanted to make sure you're doing okay, call or text me back when you can

I smile again, despite the searing pain coming from my ankle. I consider taking the painkillers that the doctor gave me, but decide against it. Those thing are too big and I'm not sure if I want to be around them.

I give Rob a quick reply and then go to the kitchen. I haven't eaten since IHOP and I am starving. After pouring myself a BIG bowl of cereal I hear a knock on the door.

"Coming!"I shout as I go to the door. As I open it I resist the urge to slam it closed again.

Lachlan stands in front of me, holding flowers and a regretful look on his face. Before I can tell him to go, he opens his mouth.

"Look Preston, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said what I said about you. I was wrong and hurt and-"

"Stop," I say cutting him off. I look at him and regret it. His face is so pained that I can't help but feel bad.

"Preston I...."he says, his voice fading out. "I'm sorry."

I nod my head, looking at the floor. "I know you are."

"I know you don't want anything to do with me but my feelings haven't changed," he says, tears pooling in his eyes. Once again I nod and consider what I hadn't allowed myself to think.

"Preston I'm still in love with you."

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That moment when you already know your death is already being plotted.

~Sky

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