A Curse so Twisted And Cruel.

Nightmares.

"Jass!" The voice screams for me, over and over.

"Silvey, I'm coming, hold on!" I quicken my pace, tripping and stumbling through the vines that grab at my feet.

Monstrous flowers tower above me, dripping a bright orange liquid, and coating me in it.

Black bats flap around me, screeching in my ears, along with gigantic butterflies, snapping their dark red fangs.

"Jass!" The voice shrieks again, and I push through the thick foliage, stumbling to a halt when I'm confronted with a familiar beach, a market on one side, a forest on the other.

"No.." I gasp, the place sending a stab of pain through me. "Jass!" The voice calls out once again, this time softly.

I see a flash of bubblegum pink, and rush, unthinkingly towards it.

Silvey lays in the sand, staining it dark blue with her blood, that's pouring out of a wound in her arm.

"No, Sil.." I whisper urgently, bending down to attempt to stop the bleeding. To my surprise, she turns her face away from me, her brown eyes hard.

"This is your fault." She says, each word like a dagger to my heart. "If you hadn't got the sudden need to escape," She spits the word in my face. "This wouldn'tve happend. You killed me, Jass."

I stare at her, unable to stop the tears from overflowing my eyes.
"Sil, I'm so sorry," I croak out, falling to kneel beside her. "Please please please, forgive me.
I didn't mean for that to happen. I just wanted to go somewhere different, please Silvey..." I blabber, pleading for her to understand.

She doesn't look at me, though. And by the time my eyes cleared up enough to see again, she was dead, her eyes wide open, staring blankly at nothing.

I let out a scream and sit up, sweaty and terrified. The others rush to me, asking me what happened. But I lie.

I don't tell them about my nightmares. The ones that haunt me every night since Silvey's death. I don't tell them how I relive her death every night, in different forms and ways.

About how she refuses to listen to me. And why should she? I am the reason she's dead, the only memory of her a rotting piece of wood.

I just refused to admit it. Even to myself. I tried blaming it on everything else, anything else.

But I know it was me who killed her. Everyone knows it- they all just refuse to accept it, like I do.
We're all fools, trying to spare each other the pain of blame.

But hiding from the truth can only last so long.

A sudden rage swells in me, threatening to burst at any moment. I stumble out of the Fort, before tearing down to the river. I wash my face, doing my best to cool off.

It's my fault. All of it. I'm to blame for the death of my best friend, my sweet, sweet Silvey.
I'm a murderer.

The thoughts taunt me, dancing around in my head, and I don't bother to stop them. They are true, after all.

Then, a thought that was a regular in my past pops up.
Why should you carry on living? What's the need to?

"No..." But the refusal is as weak as my voice. You really want to live with this burden? The voice in my head cocks and eyebrow at me.

You'll live with killing your best friend?

I fight the voice, but it's half heartedly, and I know it.
I struggle for an answer to live.
How pathetic. Maybe I should just do everyone a favour and die.

I stop struggling and accept it. I have no reason to live. I'm a thief and a murderer, and no one will miss me.

I jump in the river, submerging myself fully in the cold water.
I wade deep into it, where the current is stronger. Where I can't swim against it.

"Jass?" A voice interrupts my less-than-friendly thoughts, and I turn to look at Vin, who's staring at me, worry swirling in his eyes.

"Yeah, V?" I say, lightening my voice as best as I can.
"Um, what're you doin' so deep in the river? You always tell us no' to go so deep, cos the current sweeps you away."
His eyes narrow, suspicious.

"I'm just going for a swim V. Don't be dramatic." I tease him, but my smile is fake, and he can tell.

My smile slips, and he must see something in my eyes, because his eyes widen, and, jumping into the river, he begins swimming towards me.

"No, Vin!" I quickly move to the shallower water, meeting him halfway. "Were you g-going to..to..." He whispers, latching onto me, and pulling me to the bank.

"I..no, V." I reassure him, but he doesn't believe me, and instead, brings me to the others, informing them that I was going to drown myself.

They look disbelievingly at me, their eyes wide. I lower my eyes, expecting at least a few good talking to's.

They surprise me by hugging me, holding me as I tears leak through my puffy eyelids..again.
"We know you were lying, Jass. We didn't know why, but we know Silvey was the closest to you, so we decided to give you some time." Lira tells me, her voice soft.

"So why don't you tell us what's actually wrong, and we can help?" Gnarl adds, putting a comforting hand on my shoulder.

So I tell them, and I don't hold back. I tell them about my thoughts, the nightmares, why it's all my fault.

They listen to me uninterrupting, and, after I'm done, we eat, then they take me to the willow, where we usually eat breakfast.

I've avoided coming here, since it reminds me so much of her.
But they sit me down and we talk.

We just talk, about Silvey, about her tricks, and about our memories together.

And I think, no, I know that I have a reason to live. Reasons, actually. They were right here the whole time, and I just didn't see it.

•{§∆§}•

Hello, My beloved readers!

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I really appreciate it. 😊

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Sapphire S.