ABOUT LOVE

Chapter 33

RECAP: They are in the farmer's market. There won't be a chapter solely dedicated to why Abeer and Shiv weren't talking, but I've given a little something here. Shiv went to look for Abeer. Here's the rest

"You can't accept that you want me." his words kept ringing in her ears. Shiv desperately tried to think of anything but that night. She had almost confessed her love for him in a spell of painkillers. They didn't even argue, it was a staring match and Abeer decided to leave and she didn't try to stop him. And now, she was looking for him in this huge hillock among a huge crowd. She kept telling herself she was looking for him because of Neelu, but she was aware of her underlying interest in his safety. In the midst of her little walk, she had also decided not to pay any heed to Arjun Shergill's idiotic threat.

She was frustrated with his mixed signals. If he didn't want what she did, she doesn't even want to try. She would bury her love for him then beg him to love her. Especially when he was in a relationship of convenience with Aish.

"Look where you're going Shiv"

Before the words could register in her mind, she stumbled on an empty soda can. Steadying herself she muttered, "Thanks for the heads up." She looked at Abeer. He was leaning against a tree that wasn't big but enough to support a man. "Why are you here? I was looking everywhere for you,"

"You shouldn't have,"

"Neelu might get worried if she doesn't see you"

"Mom hasn't looked away from him to notice anything,"

He sounded jealous, not angry, not sad–he was jealous. She leaned beside him, where she didn't have to look him in the eyes.

"She's enjoying his company."

"I bet,"

"Its not everyday you know, everybody needs someone at some point."

"But I am here, no? You are with her. I think she's happy with the two of us."

"It's not that, she's happy but sometimes having someone other than family is a welcome change. Like you have Aish, Neelu can use a friend like Dharam."

Abeer didn't respond immediately, so Shiv focused on the chirping of the birds, the sun was starting to set.

"I'm not with Aishwarya anymore."

Shiv turned to him quickly, he was looking at the passersby, "What do you mean?"

"I broke up with her."

They were quiet. Shiv was contemplating whether she should probe into his breakup reasons, but she wanted to be content with the fact that he told her about the break up. But because she's Shiv and Abeer's life interests her to no end she asked, "Why did you break up with her? Was it not convenient anymore?"

Abeer looked at her, in his strange way. "You can say that."

Shiv felt this rage over his words that couldn't be contained in her a second longer, "I never thought you'd be this low. Why are men so cruel, if something doesn't suit them they get rid of it"

Abeer was in front of her at the end of her monologue, he rested his hand beside her head and very gently spoke, "She wanted to marry me."

Shiv stared at his eyes, her shoulders relaxed at his words, but there was this irritation at what he did that she didn't understand.

"Right, it complicates your comfortable life."

"Yes, because I don't want to marry a woman I've never loved," he said, calmly. "I'm not the douchebag you think I am."

"You don't believe in love." she whispered softly, her eyes wandering behind him at the beautiful hue that covered the entire sky, the beginning of an end. It was majestical. Shiv glanced at Abeer. The soft light of the setting sun enhanced his features. She didn't wanted to move, afraid it would disturb what was in front of her. She felt a kind of euphoria in being a witness to nature's beautiful play; she secretly believed Abeer to be the hero.  

"but I do know there's no big tragedy in life than never loving someone"

His words made her heart flutter.

"Do you love someone?"

Abeer leaned in, his eyes falling over her lips. There was a trace of a smile on his lips. "No"

Her chest thumped loudly in her head. Shiv was fighting hard not to look away from his eyes. "Oh" she gulped.

"You seem disappointed deeply interested in my love life."

She was at a loss of words. Abeer didn't love her. He didn't even love Aish. Maybe he just wasn't made to love. "No I'm not. And even if I am you started it, you've always meddled between Arjun and I."

Abeer moved away first. "Did I? Was there something to meddle with?"

"Yes. I was desperately in love with Arjun. Still am. He's the only man I'll ever want." her words were so far fetched, she didn't even try to make him believe.

There was a flash of surprise in his eyes, but it didn't linger much. "Then why did you break up with him?"

"He's my boss and I work for his company. Its not ideal."

Abeer took a few steps back, "Good luck with that. I better go back to mom,"

She nodded, unable to say another word. When she was sure he was gone, she fell on the ground, unable to hold herself together. She felt a terrible ache within her, as if the entire world was shattering. As if the only thing she had was gone.

She heard footsteps approaching, but didn't open her eyes at the familiar scent.

"I really didn't think you'd actually do it."

"Don't flatter yourself."

She felt him sit beside her.

"So why did you do it?"

The first traitorous tear rolled down her cheek, "I can't risk making a fool out of myself again. He doesn't love me." and when the words finally settled in, she couldn't hold it any longer and cried, silently.

Arjun stared at her, desperate. He wanted to stop her tears. One thing was clear: he couldn't see her hurting. But he also was a little selfish, he wanted her to let go of Abeer with those tears. He wanted her to cry out her love for Abeer. Because after that he wouldn't let her think about him. So he sat beside her as she cried her love out for Abeer.