Secret Admirer || [Haikaveh]

Secret Admirer

Being back at the Akademiya always made Kaveh feel a bit nostalgic. He couldn't help but see himself and a certain gray-haired scribe in the students that were walking around. Some of them in heated discussions not unlike the ones he used to get into with Alhaitham, and some were just hanging around, forming friendships that would hopefully last. Kaveh loved it.

He loved being there, loved the bittersweet memories that resurfaced. Something about it made him feel like he was right at home, and perhaps it was because it used to be his home when his mother left him during his Akademiya days. Kaveh remembers spending most of his time there, working on assignments in order to distract himself from the loneliness and guilt that consumed him before. He was lucky to have friends that pulled him out of it, and he was even luckier to have the life he had now.

Kaveh was grateful for everything, yet he still does feel like something is missing in his life.

It was something he didn't like to dwell on, not when his life was going better than he had hoped, but it's something that kept being in the back of his mind, lingering. He was an expert at pushing it even further back, not even daring to even think about it. Things were better this way, he thought. What use would it do to make himself fantasize about things that were out of reach?

Instead, he focused on a group of young students approaching him. A group filled with admiring gazes as they reluctantly called for his attention, holding a collection of books and parchments in their hands. They were clearly Kshahrewar students — the titles of the books they were holding and the blueprints were a dead giveaway — and of course, everyone in Kshahrewar recognized Kaveh. After all, he was the holder of the Light of Kshahrewar moniker.

"Sir Kaveh!" One of the students, a black-haired boy, stuttered a bit bashfully, but giddy as well. The other two had similar expressions. "We just want to say how brilliant your designs are. We had one of them as an example lat class and-"

"The bridge in Port Oromos." The other student, a girl with red hair, interjected. It led to the other two to nod, staring at him in awe.

As flattering as the attention was, Kaveh couldn't help but feel awkward under their attention. The fond way they were looking at him felt undeserved because he failed to see what they admired about him. He did design the arch bridge at the port, but the moment they mentioned it was the moment that all the flaws and possibilities of improvements rushed into his head. There were so many things he could have done differently or better, and he felt like an imposter standing in front of them.

Still, he didn't want to fall into this pointless spiral of self-doubt in front of young admirers, so he forced a smile.

"Oh, that one! I remember that I enjoyed working on that one. Though, to be honest, I focused more on practicality than aesthetics."

Playing the part of the charming senior had always come naturally to him. A part of him loved the attention, loved to inspire those who looked up to him and reminded him of a younger version of himself. The red-headed girl especially sounded eager to discuss his designs in more detail, clutching her notes to herself as if she was silently begging him to give them a glimpse of his brilliance – brilliance, it always made him cringe internally when people genuinely thought that he was anywhere near brilliant.

Fortunately, their discussion was cut short by a researcher at the Akademiya who requested Kaveh by name in order to get some consultation on a few matters. She was the reason Kaveh was there to begin with, and he couldn't help but give the trio an apologetic smile as he excused himself.

"Don't ever hesitate to come talk to me if you ever see me around," he told them, his gaze softening at the disappointed looks they had on their faces. Although he thought he didn't deserve such admiration, he still found it endearing. "I'd love to continue the discussion some other time. Your ideas inspired me!"