Just A Game

Fight

"You hardly ever want to go out." Luke whines and shifts in the bunk so he's sitting up. His broad yet lanky figure facing me.

"Don't pull that card, you think I would rather be cooped up in a bus? I would love to go out with everyone just not this time, I'm tired." I tell him.

"I'm tired too, exhausted even but its nice to get out while we can. Different scenery, being around people its a nice change even when you're tired." He argues.

I shake my head.

"What are you embarrassed of me? Huh? Is that it, you don't like to go out with me you just like our sheltered little relationship?" His voice raises and his normally soft blue eyes stare me down with in a chilling way.

"Are you kidding me! That's what you think?" I yell back.

"What else am I supposed to think. Answer my question are you?"

"I'm not having this conversation. This is bullshit and you know it." I turn to walk away but he follows continuing our argument.

"So now our relationship is bullshit to you!" He scoffs.

I turn to face him, "That's not what I meant." Loosing my last bit of patience I shove him.

"You're an idiot if you think I'm one bit embarrassed of you. I'm sorry that I'm not a clingy, scream my love for you to the world kind of girl I won't ever be that. That in no way means that I don't fucking love you!"

Luke stays quiet for awhile. When he looks at me I decide to say one final thing. "Go out tonight Luke, without me. Have fun with your different scenery and don't worry about me."

Before he can say anything I get the hell away from him, wandering into the lounge and putting my headphones in.

Luke and I need some space apart. Of course all couples have their dumb fights and this wouldn't be our first but for him to think I'm embarrassed of him was uncalled for. How the hell could that thought ever cross his mind?

I stop myself and realize, this must be what it was like for him. Me always thinking I wasn't good enough and constantly being insecure. Its true that everyone has their own insecurities but when you let it ruin the most important things in your life, that's when you have to change.

After awhile of thinking I felt sort of bad for being such a bitch to Luke. I just couldn't believe he would think that if me. I love him more then I can even begin to describe. I don't see myself having a future with anyone else and before I met him I didn't even think I had a future.

When we do go out we tend to draw attention to ourselves. Usually it's Michael walking with us in the mall yelling things like 'giraffe penis' or Calum flashing people his ass. My point was we get a lot of looks and when we do, when people look I know that they can see how much the two of us love each other.

What he doesn't know is that when he casually grabs my hand when we're walking is that I wanna burst out into giggles and weird squeals or when he gets touchy at dinner and traces his hands along my thighs under the table I almost pass out.

I love being shown off, letting people know I am his and he is mine. I want to spend as close to forever as I can doing just that and I will gladly take the stupid fights that come along with it because at the end of the day, I will crawl into bed next to him and pretend I don't love the way he slips his arm over me because I'm still 'mad' at him.

Being cooped up on the bus still sucked but having some peace and quiet was nice for a change even though I hated not knowing if Luke was okay.

I couldn't help but think about our future together... I tried to picture us  old grumpy versions of ourselves. Luke would have much less perfect hair and I would definitely be larger but we would be happy. Memories, we would have so many of them, cherishing them.