Drawn to You

Chapter 3

Fang looked up as he heard the chime from the door. He'd spent so many days hoping each time he heard the sound, Tan would be the one to walk through. But it hadn't happened, having not seen Tan since their trip .... date? .... at the coffee shop. At first, he didn't find anything abnormal about not having seen him for a couple of days but the string of days without Tan simply grew longer and longer. With each passing day, Fang felt the stitch in his heart slowly begin to unravel. Had he done something wrong? Said something wrong? Scared Tan away like he had feared?

Blindly filling a vase, giving little thought into their arrangement, his thoughts remained constant, thinking of nothing but Tan. He was somewhere out there in this world. Somewhere out there he was eating or sleeping or laughing with friends. But not here. Never here.

A few days ago, he'd mustered enough courage to visit Tan's shop. But the door was locked, the sign hanging on the front flipped to Closed. He'd tried again the next day with the same result. He wondered if he was simply visiting when Tan just wasn't at work yet. He knew from their conversations that Tan kept odd hours, catering to his clients who often asked for evening or weekend appointments. But Fang didn't have it in him to keep showing up to check, so after the second time, he'd stopped.

The table Tan sat at remained empty, day after day. He began to find it difficult to go to work each morning knowing he'd have to see that stupid table sit empty. So a few days ago, after finding Tan's store closed, he'd dragged the table and chair into the alley behind his store, leaving it to wither in the heat and the rain. He wanted it gone from his sight. Wanted to wipe it from his memory. He figured that while he sat here, thoughts of Tan screaming in his mind, he probably wasn't even a whisper in Tan's considering how easily he had left. Fang wanted to cry but he hadn't done it in years, having lost the ability to summon the energy required for tears to form.

Sometimes, when he let his mind slip from his firm control, he imagined a life filled with Tan. Imagined picnics at the park, dinners with views of the city, drives through the country. Imagined giving in to Tan's persistence and getting his first tattoo. Imagined mornings over coffee and cuddling on the sofa watching movies. Imagined soft kisses on his forehead and passionate ones, Tan's face above him. Fang imagined he could have loved Tan better than anyone. But he feared it was all over, finished before it really began. If he was being honest, he knew it wouldn't last. Knew it from the moment Tan entered his store, but he had allowed himself to hope that maybe just once in his life something good would stay.

He looked at the disastrous bouquet he had created, oddly mixed flowers, some with missing petals that had drifted across the counter and onto the floor. Taking the view in, he guessed it was as good a representation of himself as one could find. A strange, odd, broken mess, destined to be looked at but never purchased.

He ripped the flowers from the vase, tossed them into the trash next to him, and laid his head down on the counter, his forehead hitting the wood sending a lonely echo throughout the shop.

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Entering Fang's store, Tan first noted the absence of his table and chair followed by the sight of Fang, head down on the counter. Fang's head didn't lift when the door chime sounded, leading him to wonder if Fang was asleep. The whole thing seemed odd to him, wondering what had happened in the week he'd been gone.

He crept slowly towards the front, not wanting to startle Fang should he actually be asleep.

"Fang? You awake?"

He tried again, louder, after getting no response. "Fang? Hello?"

Fang jolted upright suddenly, startling Tan, sending him stumbling backwards, catching himself before falling. But instead of the nervous smile and crinkly nose Tan expected to see after his absence, he saw a blank, flat expression settle in on the face he had missed so much.