Like Enemies to Lovers[ON HOLD]

Chapter Eight| Darkness

Darkness.

I've been in here for the past 3 days not wanting to leave or see Elijah.

I feel disgusting at myself, my hair is greasy, I smell bad and I have been in the same hoodie and black shorts for the past days.

I couldn't eat, I didn't want to eat.

For my own sanity I pick at my scars. Maybe I should be dead. Emma has been putting food at the door for me in case I would eat it but I don't.

What if it's good for me to die if I don't there will be a war between my family and Elijah's. People will die because of me, they will suffer because of me. I can't let that happen my life isn't valuable enough.

Despite the pain in my legs, and my pounding head I get up picking up the knife hidden in my drawer. I sit back down on the cold floor, taking a deep breath I pull the knife to my upper thigh cutting deep making blood drip on the floor. I stop cutting once I get to my mid thigh.

I need to die.

I push myself towards the shower taking my clothes off. Putting the water on the highest setting I turn the shower on. Forcing my self in the shower I fall to the floor wincing in pain as the scorching hot water burns the cuts on my legs.

I deserve the pain.

I let tears break out of me turning into sobs. Why me, why did this have to happen to me. Making a choice I might regret I take a showers so I could leave to take my classes I didn't go to college just to sit in the shower.

Letting the blood fall from my legs making the shower turn red I start to think of my mom. I wish she was here to comfort me. To hold me in her arms squeezing me.

Groaning in pain from my legs I carefully get out of shower. The blood on the floor will stain if it stays there any longer so I get an extra rag from under my cabinet and wipe it up.

Deciding whether to put something nice on or something comfy I just put on a hoodie, sweatpants, and boots.

I leave to my first class which is probably the worst, Personal Finance. Classes started about thirty minutes ago so im late. I walk in and all eyes are on me, oh god please don't let me pass out on the floor.

"Is this your class," the professor speaks catching me off guard as I mumble,"y-yes" im going to die of embarrassment, take me now god.

"What's your name." I look up quick and answer."Mariyah Vexion." why is everyone whispering, are they talking about me, there's no sits left.

I keep examining the room looking for a seat and when I find one it's next to the one person I didn't want to see today, Elijah.

I freeze in the place I was while people still stare at though everything comes out muffled, my breathing quickens as I don't know what to do.

Sweat starts to drip down my face, I get the courage to move but it's not to the seats it's to the door, my slow steps turn into sprints, then running. Now im breathing even harder, I run to the library and thankfully no one's there.

I run to the back in case someone comes in. I need Elijah, just for right now. This might be another panic attack and I don't know how to deal with them.

My breathing is uncontrollable causing me to cough out my lungs. What did he tell me to do last time. My memory is horrible, someone help please.

I hear footsteps so I shut my eyes tightly hoping it's not who I think it is.

"Mariyah, amore breath please, control your breathing," no, no im not doing this again.

I stand up quickly causing me to trip over my feet but I catch myself.

"No, no. Stop, please just leave me alone," my words come out airy as I feel tears stinging my eyes threatening to fall.

"Amore what did I do, im just trying to help you your having a panic attack," he takes steps closer to me but keeps his distance.

"STOP CALLING ME THAT!" I don't even know what it means but stop, im not your amore. My breathing fastens as I start to see stars, I squeeze my eyes shut and turn away from Elijah trying to get rid of them.

Stop, stop, everything just STOP. I want to die, I can't live like this anymore. I feel an arm but I pull away.

"STOP, JUST STOP. Just kill me already, I know you have to. I heard your conversation with your father. So just kill me!" I say while pushing him into the shelf as books fall.

He doesn't say anything so I walk to the doors, my vision became spotty so I started walking faster. Right when I was about to open the doors my vision became fully blurred and black, one thing after another I passed out.

Authors Note: uh oh Elijah, she knows.

I know this chapter was short sorry😭

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Thank you for reading💜