My Fucked up Thoughts

Flashes of lights

The world, moves around me. In circles. Like little shapes passing by in a Flash. I think that's what moments are made of. Flashes of lights. That's what our world is, reflections of light. Bouncing onto one another creating shapes that define us. Create us. Make us who WE are. But we aren't just those reflections of light. We aren't defined by how other perceive us. We are defined by what's inside. Some, out for other people to see, others hidden deep within. The lights can reach our inner souls. But mostly not those dangerous holes of darkness. The ones with us that we keep hidden. Unloved, uncared for. It's what we call wrong, in ourselves. But really, what is wrong, what is right in our world. What is the right choices? What are the wrong ones? Yes, hell is paved with good intentions. And sometimes, bad intentions turn good. But what is the difference between good or wrong itself? What have I done to make wrong? What have I done to do good. What have I done to make this world, the way it is? What have I done?

Sometimes I think I have done the right choice. Making something good. Something better of the world. But we always try to find ways to get better. Always find those dammed flaws. Those imperfections in which I GOT DAMN HATE SO MUCH. In which I just want to hide forever and just be me. Be myself. I just... I just want... To be... free. Free from those things I want away from my existence. Things I just want... to leave alone.

Darkness. Some word holding such power. Such meaning that is so vague but so precise at the same time. Something that we perceive as wrong. Where we fear to enter. Where fear, becomes our barrier which we need to face every god damn day. Which we need to overcome over and over again. We go into the light, to stay sane. To stay alive. But when the monsters come. When they go to creep and enter into our only sane place. One of the only places to escape is the darkness. The place we fear the most. Where most of our darkest moments lie. Where our emotions, that contain sadness and pain. Guilt and loss. We hide there, in hope to escape the monsters with in us.

We hope we can stay sane. We hope that we can escape through that place and go through our passage to get out. So we use determination. We use our last bit of strength and let our hope guide us to our only escape. To where our only, worst and darkest pain lies. Where we escape it even without knowing it. Unconsciously. We live into our little cloud up in the mountains. Our only escape.

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