Almost A Diary

I'm sorry , i really am

I'm sorry , I really am .
I don't know what is fucking wrong with me but I just want to cry and break everything around me because I can't stop loving you and it's driving me insane to the point where I can't even think properly sometimes .
I'm so done with you , I just don't know why I can't just let you go . Heck , I don't even know if you ever been in love with me and don't even dare to say you understand because I bet you didn't even thought about me twice.
I'm still trying to figure out how you had the balls to do this to me , who do you think you are to shatter my fucking heart like that , I gave you all of me and this is what I get?
You make me feel so stupid and angry , it makes me physically sick that I don't feel anything but anger and a twist on my stomach every time I lay my eyes on you .
But what fucks me up even more is that you didn't at least tried and that makes me so sad you don't even imagine man.
This is harder than you think because I love you so bad it even hurts not seeing you for 2 days , I need your love that's for sure but I need you way more .
God , I put you on the top of the world and that is still not enough for you?
You know what? You are my everything and I can't get over how beautiful you are and how good you make me feel sometimes but all you did was destroy me and make me feel even worse than I was before , you made me believe and hold on to thing that weren't even true and I'm sorry I'm giving up on you so easily but it's been 2 years and I'm not gonna waste another year chasing things that are not worth the chase .