Satan reincarnate: You're my Poetry

Not so Living Legened

***

I sat in the still room, my heavy heart beating. It was such a strangely foreign feeling to have my mind be this full, this crowded with fear, sadness and stress. Yet, it was also the thing I longed for ever since Bill left me so I could be at peace. Yet because of them, there would never be a such thing as peace in my heart. I don't think I've ever truly felt at peace. I was very troubled as I grew up, and I never fit in anywhere. I remember being in a secluded, lifeless place that my parents sent me to once in my life, and that clamped my heart open so that the crack in it wouldn't ever fully heal.

I felt my chest shutter as my eyes played tricks on me, flashing colored orbs around my vision that weren't actually there. Everytime someone brought up my past, my heart broke a little bit more. But I really felt it hit me when I realized Bill recorded it all, probably to use against me some day. People like him are born insane, and there's no growing from that. I knew he was a maniac and always will be, but I'm too swooned in the head to leave him. I knew if I did he'd find me anyways.

My ear twitched as I heard his familiar voice say my name upstairs, in a very somber manner. Like I was dead, or something. Or like he thought I was fragile to the point where if he grabbed my arm I'd fall into pieces at his feet. I am in pieces, I have fallen to pieces. He's watched me crumble, and he's been the one to make me crumble. To be frank, I'm proud of myself for still being here. I've gone day to day not realizing I'm living life, and death was an option. I had just gotten so used to the loneliness, pain, and longing his sudden departure left me to bear all on my own. My heart loved him, and so did most of my head. However somewhere in the back of my mind was screaming at me to run far far away. It had been since I left my parents, back in New York.

I felt a tear form on my dry lower eyelashes, thinking of how young I was. I wanted so badly to start a new chapter in my life, and get away from the pain my little to nothing childhood heaved on me. But, I just walked straight into the arms of death himself.

I used to see him as someone a Satan reincarnate, metaphorically of course. However the longer my heart has loved Bill, the more it tries to filter out the evil. I'm stuck. I need to leave, but I can't. I need to make Tom think I'm going to leave, or he'll probably kill me. To put it in the simplest form, there's no way out.

I felt my thoughts be cut short by the breath of the frigid breeze as the door was opened, my forearms automatically twisting to get out from their restraints. Bill was the kind of man to hurt somebody, if that meant they were safe in his eyes. I didn't want to see him right now, I didn't really want to see anybody.

"Angelina?" He mumbled down to me as he shut the door behind him, all alone.

"Hm?" I hummed, knowing if I spoke I would bear him the burden of wondering why there was a choke in my voice. Tom told me not to tell him, tell him about anything he did or said. And I won't- I'm smart enough not to do that.

However the uneasy feeling in my stomach- the one I've had since I slept with Bill- has ceased to leave me. In fact, it's grown more abundant, it almost feels like hunger. But if your hunger was heavy in the lower parts of your stomach. It was strange, I couldn't feel anything but the feeling was like something was going to happen, if that makes sense.

"Hey baby." He whispered, taking long steps over to me with his decorated hands outstretched to my face.

He took my face gently between his soft hands, and tilted it up so he could kiss my forehead. He wiped the tears away using his thumbs, not questioning anything. I appreciated that, the fact he knew me so well to the point he somehow knew I didn't like opening up.

It was funny, he knew everything about me though I've told him nothing.

"Your wrists?" He whispered, one of his hands coming down to graze the rawness of my skin as it was slowly being rubbed away by the ropes. "Why'd Tom even tie you up in the first place?"