Ashkin

Despised Fate

I stood up slowly and walked past the people crowded all together in my small home. I paid no attention to my friends calling my name, trying to comfort me. I walked out onto the dirt road and continued down the path slowly, staring straight ahead.

I was a monster. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but it was damn certain that someday soon I wouldn't be myself anymore. I walked faster as I battled with a tsunami of emotions swirling within me. Anger, fear, hurt, despair. The impossibility of a future, the absolute certainty of my demise. There was no way out. I had gotten myself in too far this time. Gone out hunting one too many times without a guard, one too many times after dusk in a dangerous area. I screwed myself over and now I had to deal with the consequences.

I faintly heard Ren's footsteps padding behind me, his worried aura following him like a cloud. I paid him no attention and kept going, clenching and unclenching my fists in frustration.

"Adira!" Peter ran up to me, tears in his eyes. "We're here for you, Adi. We can find a way to fix this."

I laughed humorlessly and stopped in front of him, my hands on my hips. "You can't fix it, Peter. There's no cure, so stop freaking out about it. You can't control it."

"But we could figure something out. We can save you." He smiled faintly, running his hand through his hair.

"Give it up already!! There's no fix, no easy way out." I was angry now; taking out my fears and self-doubt on one of my best friends. "You've been Awakened longer than me; you know more about Ashkins than anyone."

He hesitated, and I knew I had won. He did know. He knew all about what happened to Nobles infected by Ashkins. He knew the pain they felt in transition, how they slowly were fried from the inside out. How they struggled as they lost their conscience and soul. How they wished for death before being forced into a terrible form. But most of all, he knew what they did to the people they had loved. How they slowly lost their minds and drank the blood of their people; how they degenerated into the worst, most heartless creature imaginable. He knew, all right. The faint scars decorating his body were proof of how deadly an infected Noble could become. How quickly they could change. His own mother...

"That's not important. You can't just give up!!" Anger shone in his grey eyes and he showed his teeth in annoyance.

Ren's raspy purr stopped my sharp retort. He sat on his haunches to my left, licking his paw nonchalantly, as if this was all no news to him.

Peter and I exchanged a look and turned to the strange tiger. "What is it, Ren?" I sighed. I brushed my hair out of my eyes and made a face. I still reeked of humans since my last hunt.

He snagged up a leaf with his claw and examined it before answering. "You're as clueless as a lovestruck human, aren't you?"

I raised my eyebrows questioningly. "What are you talking about?" Ren had a hell of a way to start a conversation.

He eyed another leaf. "Well, do you remember The Watcher?"

"Of course." I remembered him telling me about her. A powerful Spellcaster, high-ranking Noble, Ashkin huntress, and notorious for her violent personality. She was the coolest damn vampire I'd ever heard of. But I still had no idea where he was going with this. "Is storytime with Ren over? Can I go back to thinking about how I have literally no future now?"

Ren looked at me, exasperated. "Have you not heard the story?" He stretched out in the dirt and rolled around, mussing his pelt and spraying me with dust and debris. Typical Ren. He never could just stay still.

"If it's the one with the troll frozen to the riverbed, then I don't see how-"

Ren cut me off midsentence. "No, not that one. Although that is a quality story. What I'm getting at, and what you appear to be unaware of, is that The Watcher herself was infected as well."

I breathed in sharply, taken aback. "Do you mean that she was almost an Ashkin?"

"No, I mean she went dancing with Satyrs by the River Kida." He snorted and rolled his eyes at me. "Of course I mean that."  

I smiled and an unfamiliar emotion washed over me. Hope? Relief? "So she must know a cure!"

He brushed his tail against my nose and purred. "That's what we need to find out." He got to his paws gracefully. "She lives high in the mountains, in a place not even a cat like me can find easily. It'll take time, and I don't know if that is enough. You have to ask yourself: can you resist the change as long as possible? If not, then we are all doomed."

A raw determination coursed through me. I would beat this thing, or die trying. That abomination would not get the best of me. "Of course. I may not be a cat, but I think I can handle it." I teased him.

He batted at me and I dodged, laughing. "Well? Is it a plan or not? You'll have to leave here, and even I don't know how long."

"Yes. But promise me something?" I replied, serious again. "Will you, if I ever lose control and hurt one of my own, will you kill me?"

For the first time in his life, he faltered. "Adira-"

"Promise me. Please"

He tried to hide the sadness behind his gaze as he answered. "I promise."