Lost Blood

Part 4

I got in my room and my stomach started hurting, I quickly ran to the bathroom and started throwing up. I stood up washed my face.

I hope I am not pregnant, I was on birth control but I haven't had my period in a month and I am throwing up. I quickly took my pregnancy kit and took a pregnancy test. Please be negative if I am pregnant I know for sure my brother's will hate me more than they do now. I started pacing around the room scared to see the results.

After a a good hour i decided to check. It was negative, Yes! I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I quickly hid the kit in my wardrobe.

It was 6pm, I heard a knock. Come in! I yelled. It was Isabella holding a tray with food.

"Thank you" I smiled.

"It's okay I will come later to take the tray." Isabella said as she walked out.

I only ate a 1/2 of the food and I was full. Isabella came back and took the tray.

"Miss De Luca you didn't eat much are you sure you are full" Isabella asked looking concerned.

"I'm full Isabella don't worry and please call me Eloise" I said giving her a small smile.

She got out and I went to sleep.

This past 4 weeks I spent my time in my room and ate my lunch in the dining room. Isabella told me that my brother's go out by 8 am and return at 5 so I decided to use the time when their not home to entertain myself. I tried baking new recipes and cooking, I went to the library to read novels. I slept early because I was tired so I didn't eat any food, I wasn't hungry I had eaten in the afternoon.

*Nightmare*  Includes abuse and panic attack‼️

"You piece of Shit! You can't even do anything right!"

"No food for you for a week!"

"I..I.. am sor..ry mom."

*slap*

"Don't talk back to me you slut!"

"Honey a week is too much I am sure she will not do it again" my step dad said looking at me concerned.

"Fine then I will just punish her differently."

I watched my mom take a whip and a knife. She started slapping me, kicking me and whipping with a whip. She curved words on my back and stabbed me in the stomach.

"This is too much, you can't do this to your own daughter" my step dad said trying to convince my mom to stop.

"My daughter, my house i do whatever I want! She said as she threw me against the wall.

I woke up shaking and I couldn't breathe. I started counting to 10 trying to stop my panic attack. After some time I stopped but was still shaking. I decided to go get water, I looked at the time it was 4 am so my brother's are still sleeping. I got in the kitchen poured myself water and drank. I was about to put the glass away when I suddenly heard a deep voice.

"Give me one reason I shouldn't kill you right now!" The man shouted in anger.

Is he holding a gun, I am going to die today. I started shaking in fear and dropped the glass and screamed. I took steps back and fell to the ground shaking.

I heard noise and the light was turned on. Xander had a gun, he threatened me, he wants me dead. I know they hate me I am not even surprised. I started having a panic attack.

"Breath " i heard Alessandro say as he told me to count to 10.

My panic attack stopped and I looked up seeing my brother's and Xander angry the others looked annoyed.

"What were you doing here at this time!" Xander said furiously.

"I.. uhh...I."

"It doesn't matter go to your room i can't stand your face" Xander said.

Trust me I don't even want to be here. I tried getting up but I had sprained my ankle.

"Didn't you hear me I said go to your room!"

"I sprained my ankle" I said in the softest voice.

Suddenly Xander picked me up, took me to the living room and threw me on the sofa.

"Metteo check her ankle."

As Matteo twisted my leg I winced in pain.

"It's definitely sprained, i will send some medicine to you for it" Matteo said.

I nodded. "Thank you."I said with a small smile.

"Perché è anche qui! avremmo dovuto lasciarla in affidamento, è solo un problema e un peso. Non avevamo bisogno di lei allora e non abbiamo bisogno di lei adesso! Onestamente chi riceve un attacco di panico da una pistola. Vuole solo attenzione!" Xander said furiously as he shouted.

(Why is she even here! we should've left her at foster care, she's just trouble and a burden. We didn't need her back then and we don't need her now! Honestly who gets a panic attack from a gun. She just wants attention!)

(I DON'T KNOW ITALIAN THIS IS FROM GOOGLE TRANSLATION I APOLOGIZE IF IT'S WRONG)

He definitely thinks i don't understand Italian so I am just going to pretend like I don't understand.

"Non dire che è proprio qui!" Matteo said.

(Don't say that she's right here!)

"non è che lei possa capire" Xander said as stormed out of the room.

(its not like she can understand)

Matteo shook his head and carried me to my room.

"Goodnight" Matteo said as he gave me a small smile, closing the door behind him.

"Goodnight"

I didn't go to sleep, I wasn't sleepy I felt so many different emotions. I wanted it to all go away, this pain was too much it was hurting me more than the physical pain. The urge to cut, to see my own blood and to feel physically pain instead of emotional pain. I got up and took my pocket knife went straight to the bathroom.

One for the physical abuse.

One for being a burden.

One for being useless.

One for being ugly.

One for the emotional pain.

I could see blood falling. It felt good very good. I quickly put a bandage on my cuts and went to look in the mirror. The ugly girl infront of me with so many scars, who am I kidding I am the girl. This useless girl, the one who was not supposed to be born. I quickly wore my grey tracksuit and laid in bed all day. I heard a knock it must be Isabella. Come in!

It was Matteo his here, I thought he would send Isabella with the medicine.

"Uh.. hi... I didn't know you would come to give me the medicine by yourself" I said as sat up.

"How is your ankle feeling?"

"It's better "I said giving a small smile.

"Good. Apply this ointment every morning and night" Matteo said with a straight face.

I noded and thanking him again.

After some time it was 6 pm Isabella came in with a tray of food which I refused cause I didn't want to eat. I felt like I should lose some weight, I was too fat, I needed to lose weight plus I wasn't even hungry.