𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐀
Glass shattered against the wall, and I flinched, curling myself deeper into the corner. The cold plaster dug into my back but I hardly noticed. My mother's voice, slurred and venomous, filled the apartment, mixed with the state smell of cigarettes and the acrid scent of what was supposed to be dinner.
"WHERE IS HE NALA?" Her words barely making it through the thick haze of booze. "Look at you." She hissed "You're as worthless as me."
I stayed quiet, knees tucked up to my chest, my fingers, digging into the fabric of my dress. I knew better than to say anything. Words only made things worse. But silence was never enough to save me either.
Suddenly, her hand was on me, fingers like claws digging into my arm, yanking me to my feet. Pain shot through me, but I bit my lip, refusing to cry out. "Are you not going to speak Alami?" She spat, shaking me hard. "You're just a fucking reminder of my failures."
———————
My steps faltered, the message was simple, just a few words, but they hit me like a punch in the gut. No one knows that name—no one in this life, at least. I swallowed hard, trying to keep my face neutral, but my mind was already spiralling. Who could have sent this? And why now?
Alayna's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. "Nala? You okay? you look like you've seen a ghost."
I forced a smile, shoving the phone back into my pocket. "hmm? Yes, of course, it's just about ummi"
Her eyes widened in alarm and voice was laced in anxiety, "What's wrong?"
I wanted to tell her everything— to let the words spill out and lay bare the fear I'd been carrying. But the moment Alayna said, "you can always talk to me, Nala," her voice filled with warmth and genuine care, I felt a pang of guilt. I knew she meant it, but I wasn't ready to have this conversation. Not yet.
Instead I forced a light smile and shook my head, trying to brush my thoughts away. "It's nothing Alayna, I'm fine, everything is fine. Don't worry" I said, the lie tasting bitter on my tongue.
Alayna studied me, clearly not buying it, but she could tell I wasn't budging. She sighed and just about she was about to start, I cut in.
"You know," I began "I've been craving food from that Thai place we went to last month. It was sooo good, I can't stop thinking about it,"
Alayna hesitated, still watching me closely, but then she went along with it, the concern on her eyes began to fade away "That place was great," she responded, playing along "It was incredible"
"Right?" I said, relieved , she was following my lead. "We should visit before we go,"
Alayna offered a small smile, a sign she understood, I wasn't ready to talk and was respecting that. "That sounds perfect. I've been dying to try their mango sticky rice, "
We continued walking until we reached the subway, talking about everything but what was really on our minds. The buzz of the city was loud, a constant hum that filled the space between our words. As we descended the steps, the smell of the underground hit us — stale air mixed with the scent of hot pretzels and something undefinable.
Alana kept the conversation light, her voice a steady steam of random observations. I chimed in when I could, trying to match her energy, but my thoughts kept pulling me back. Every time the silence stretched too long, I'd throw in another comment about the Thai place. It was like a lifeline, a distraction, and I was holding on to it.
The train arrived, screeching to a stop, and we boarded, sliding into an empty street near the back. The car was half-full, the usual mix of tired commuters and tourists, clutching their maps, lost in the underground maze. We sat in comfortable silence for a while, the rhythm of the track a soothing backdrop. I could feel Alayna glance at me from time to time, probably wondering if i was ready to talk yet, but she didn't push. Not yet. We sat in comfortable silence and she seemed to be pondering about something, her eyes focused on something distant, like she was trying to decide if she should say whatever was on her mind.
