that winter (billford)

we'll meet again... (4)

i spent a while freaking out internally about how we just kissed i turned to look at my "roommate's" blue eyes that had a tint of bright yellow in the middle

-"you have really pretty eyes you know?"
"thanks fordsy, they have a little yellow in them if you haven't noticed" he grabbed my hands as he said it and then giggled.

-"do we wanna do something today or nah?" i said playfully and yawned
-"we should... but I wanna stay here with you" he said softly then hugged me tighter.

after some time struggling to leave the bed we finally managed to get some work done. blondie cooking, me researching...

-"fordsy dinner's ready!" I heard the now familiar voice from upstairs and got out of my lab. now upstairs I sat down to eat but didn't fail to notice the blondes nervousness as he seemed to want to tell me something...

-"so uhm... do you remember how earlier I got all weird and then returned from my walk all different and all?" the blonde said fidgety and anxious.

"I remember... but was there some reason?" I said eating and trying to keep calm.

"well when that happened I got a weird felling from the word deal like a deja vu you know? and then I walked to that statue near where you found me and everything clicked..." he made a long and awkward pause and I just stopped eating and stared...

-"... long story short I remember everything and I'm bill cipher!" he said shakily while closing his eyes and shielding himself from any possible attacks while a tear fell down his face

the shock on my face could not be described easily, the disappoinment in myself for not having realized earlier but what could do I now he's already in my house I already fell for him again....

"i... I don't even know what to think..." I said nervously and avoiding eye contact "listen i... don't know if i can trust you but at the same time you'd probably already have killed me by now so.... I'm just conflicted... give me thirty minutes to get my head together..." I said barely making sense and a tear streaming down my face then walked out to go lock myself in my room and deal with my pain alone as I always do...

after what felt like days of crying and thinking about everything, I heard a knock on my door and started crying loudly again "if you're gonna bother me either way just enter already cipher!" I screamed in between breaths and tears...

-"I don't want to come in... listen stanford I'm sorry... you have more than the right to feel bad and I should've told you sooner but isn't this exactly how we were in the past? crying and fighting...breaking eachothers trust" bill being the reasonable one now this is ironic I thought to myself and rolled my eyes

the silence was nearly palpable for a minute or so...

-"we don't need to talk it out if you don't want to... I'm just here to let you know that i don't even have any of my powers anymore so I'm just useless fragile and pathetic now..." bill said and I heard him walk away again...

I spent more time thinking about it and the bad feelings started getting weaker, was it all genuine? can all this tears angers and doubts get better with time?

a/n: this one was a bit shorter but hope y'all liked it! my very first attempt at a little angst so it might not be that good but anyways see y'all next chapter! byee 🩷🎀