Hi. There you are, overthinking again, torturing your mind for things that cannot be undone. You're supposed to be sleeping, but why are you still awake at 3:00 am? I hope you enjoy your singlehood. Meet good people, travel to places you haven't seen, do nice things. But instead, you starve yourself, ignore your friends, and drink to death. Alcohol cannot fix your broken heart; it cannot drain the memories you'd wish to forget. Yes, you will feel numb for a while, but the next day will be the same, the pain will still be there.
I remember your saddest birthday. You were wearing all black, you were so broken, sorry, seems like being awake is a nightmare while your eyes are wide open. Painful tears fall, the unseen wound on your chest that keeps on tingling every time, and maybe even the greatest doctor cannot heal. I know where you spend the whole day, it's a place where all your broken dreams and promises are made. The weather is gloomy and so are you. I guess even if the whole world gives you a present, it cannot cover up the pain inside. You will still be sad because you only want one person to be there for you, a person that made you feel that way. Happy and whole at the same time broken and alone.
Most of us experience a kind of pain that comes from the deepest part of our heart and maybe we cannot measure the depth of it at all. Time cannot mend your broken heart; it only gives us chances to create new memories that may or may not help us move on. Because in the end, when everything seems worthless, and trying is pointless, only you can decide whether to hold on to the pain of trying or give up for the pain of moving on.
Failed love stories and friendships may happen more than once in your life. The important is to know when to hold on and when to walk away. Not because you're weak, but because you're strong enough to know your worth and what you deserve. Love can be uneasy, unfaithful, liar, and mean, but I think it's the people behind it that make it evil. Love itself is selfless, honest, easy, and kind. Love is not love if it ends.
If I had been given a chance to meet my old self. I would hug and thank her. For I have learned that even the longest road of darkness has an end. Even the tragic stories can be a lesson. And hearts that are broken can be mended, fixed, and made whole again by one TRUE LOVE.
