Hold On I Still Need You (ON HOLD)

-Comfort in His Arms-

*Song: "Losing Hope" Sad & Emotional Piano By: Jurrivh

Sophie's POV: 

Hope, happiness, warmth, comfort, and high spirits. A moment of peace. All of it had been washed down the drain in a single moment.

Not a sliver of light pierced the room, or if it did, I didn't notice. I sat alone in the darkness, the shadows wrapping around me like a suffocating blanket. Tears traced slow, sorrowful paths down my cheeks as I tried to process everything that had happened, but I couldn't. I was lost and alone. Once, I may have been on the path to a better hope, only to step off it and wander aimlessly, now living with the fear of not knowing my way back. I didn't think I could find my way back. Not after this.

My heart was broken, and it hurt. Everything around me had shattered into a million pieces with no way of being put back together.

Why did everything have to be beautiful and bright? Why did a single moment need to be something that helped bring a true smile to my face, only for both precious things to be taken away by something going wrong? I truly felt okay, like I could finally look towards the light. But I got rejected and had to turn back to the darkness.

Lying back on my bed, more tears streamed out like a flowing river. It was no use to hold them in, not when I was in so much pain and torment. The added time I had left got thrown out the window. I felt so betrayed by the fact that I couldn't seem to trust anything good in this world. It was just going to get taken away from me.

A small, gentle knock sounded on the door, but I didn't move. Nor did I care.

The door slowly started to creak open, and someone walked in. I assumed it was Edaline, maybe Grady. But whoever it was sat down beside me and pulled me into their arms. Gently rubbing my back, and I knew. I didn't need to look up at him. I knew that this person was Keefe.

His presence in the room offered a small sense of comfort. A small grasp on it, but it wasn't fully there. I couldn't hold it in anymore, and I just let it out. The sobbing began. Keefe held onto me a little tighter, gently encouraging me to just let it out. Let out these horrible feelings, let out my heartache. Let out all of the emotions I was feeling.

After a moment, my sobs finally settled down. We sat in silence for a moment longer, as I focused on taking some deep breaths. Then Keefe broke the silence. "Do you want to talk about it? It might help. You don't have to talk if you don't want to. But if you want to talk, I'm here to listen," he gently encouraged. I nodded. I wanted to get this off my chest. I wanted to talk to someone about what I was feeling.

Sometimes I wished he could feel my emotions because I think he would be the best at comforting me in situations like this. Taking another deep breath, I spoke, and my words spilled out like a flowing waterfall.

"This isn't what I wanted to happen. I thought this treatment would give me a better chance at life, but it turns out that wasn't the case. I'm so lost and alone. I feel so heartbroken. Keefe, why did this have to happen? Why did any of this have to happen in the first place?" I said, my voice shaking from my tears, feeling a slight lump in my throat.

Keefe sighed, "Well, Foster, I can't give you an answer on why this happened in the first place or why it had to happen. All I can say is to work through this one step at a time. These hardships in life are sad and a tough road to go along. I wish I didn't have to see you suffer so much; it hurts my heart. You just need to know that you're not alone in this. You have me and your parents at your side in this fight. None of us are going to give up on you. So let's slowly heal through this hard time, and we can figure out the next step on what we need to do," he said calmly.

"So let's focus on the now and what we can do, instead of being in fear of the unknown future and what we can't do. Also, don't focus on the what-ifs, okay? Those won't help you," he said, looking into my eyes. I nodded softly, knowing he was right. There was no point in thinking about what the future could bring when we could be focusing on the present.

Looking at the potential what-ifs isn't a pleasing thought. There are a mix of positive ones and negative ones. Negative ones usually outnumber the positive ones because in a bad situation, you tend to look towards all the things that could go wrong.

I nodded, feeling a little better about this. "Good. Now let's figure out what we could do now. From what Elwin said, your treatment that you've been undergoing since you were first diagnosed isn't doing any harm to you, so we know that is something we can continue with. Also, you have me and your parents at your side to help you when you need it."

I suppose that was a positive thing because I knew that it wasn't causing any harm. But the only downside is that it didn't do much. It seemed to only help to a small extent but not at the level Alden was wanting or what I was wanting too.

After talking for a little longer, giving me a better sense of direction, I felt much better than I did before. I still felt some of the lasting emotions, but those will take time to get over. Just one step at a time.

Then we both decided to lighten the mood a little bit. Keefe cracked a small joke. "You know, Foster, sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That's just how I roll," he said, smirking at me. I giggled a little bit, "Seriously. Aren't you supposed to eat a roll, then you'll roll away?" I said, smiling.

"Not sure how a small roll of bread is going to help you roll, Foster, but okay. Oh, I got another one. I'm glad seagulls fly over the sea because if they flew over the bay, they would be bagels," Keefe joked, a goofy grin forming on his face.

"Oh my gosh, Keefe," I said, rolling my eyes playfully. Keefe's jokes never fail to bring a smile to my face, no matter how ridiculous they may be. We started talking about lighter topics and bringing up some of my bucket list and talking about the potential exciting things we could do for it. I could tell that Keefe was determined to help me be able to complete every item on there.

But the one item I'm completely unsure about is the "First Kiss." Like, how on earth am I supposed to do that one? I mean, it seems a little unrealistic with my situation right now. Because there's the thought that I may not even make it, or if I do make it out of this, then I'm unsure about that. For now, I won't worry about that one. I'll leave it off to the side and come back to it later.

Later that evening, we sat outside in the cool night air. Keefe turned to me and said, "Foster, I promise to always be there for you. We will work through this together." Keefe said, grabbing my hands in his. I wrapped my arms around him in a heartfelt embrace.

He returned the hug, and eventually, he left. Watching him leave, I had a renewed sense of strength and a glimmer of hope. Knowing that I have the best person at my side and he won't leave me to suffer alone.

Now I just need to face the new challenge of figuring out what comes next.

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Sorry I've been terrible with updates. I wanted to update earlier in the week but I just haven't been in the mood to write so yeah. 

ALSO! I'm working on trying to reach 300 followers right now so---lets hope I get there soon. 😀

"Helplessly praying, the light isn't fading."

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-KotLC183