Little Cwoissant Lore

No Place Like Home

     "Like the moon, we must go through phases of emptiness before we feel full again." At least, that is what my guidance counselor said during my senior year of high school. Walking down these bleak streets which looked as if each corner turned would lead me to a dead end. Not a soul to be seen here at this time of night. Only the occasional car drove past, many with their headlights turned off. Made sense, after all, these streets were practically in the middle of nowhere. Hell, with a town so small, what could happen? There it was, a small shred of optimism producing an ounce of dopamine onto my last brain cell. With that, I had enough energy to get myself back home. 

     There was enough dirt along this path between me and the house. We live so far from the city, you could call us farmers, but we don't do much harvesting. The land is a giant garden filled with a variety of trees and plants my parents love to experiment with. They call my mom the witch because she deals with poisonous plants while my father is...a florist. He doesn't look the part--unless you like the bear holding a honey pot kind of look. Only the pot was filled with tulips and lilies. 

     Mom held me close like the apple in her eye, she and father hoped I would take over the family business when I grew up. Well, I'm 23 now, going on 24 and the only plants I haven't murdered are succulents. No, my passions were baking and taking care of the rabbits that ate a third of my father's earnings last year. Better they eat a lot of weeds and hay from our lawn clippings than see them get turned into stew for our winter meals. I gave them a purpose which was more than this planet has done for me.

     There it was, back at it again with the thoughts of gloom crashing over me. Well, it was good while it lasted. Looking up at the sky, there were billions of stars looking down on me. In the center, the full moon looking peaceful surrounded by its friends. How close do you think the moon is to the stars even though it's so large and the stars look so small? I guess that is something we have in common, the moon and I. Hardly admire what we do because we can't compare ourselves to the sun everyone counts on.

     Pressing onto the trail with each step heavy on my ankles from standing all day. I look down in awe to see a piece of fluorescent calcite on my path. Score! Finders keepers! Holding it up to the moonlight, there was a pink hue with a reddish spec in the center of the mineral. 

"Someone dropped it...I feel bad for taking it, but who can resist this shiny beauty?"

     Having no pockets in women's pants should be a crime so I had to carry it in my hand the rest of the way back.

     𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘐 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨?     𝘕𝘰𝘵𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳...𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘭 𝘪𝘯 𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘦. 𝘋𝘶𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩 𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘥𝘦, 𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘰𝘳𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘭 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘶𝘵𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘰𝘤𝘬 𝘪𝘴 𝘷𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘌𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘩. 𝘞𝘦'𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘫𝘶𝘥𝘨𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘵 𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘦. 𝘑𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳, 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘴.

     Nights like this are peaceful with the quiet it brings. My parents couldn't have picked a better spot to settle down. Social distance has saved me more often than I can count. Whenever I have a bad day, I come back home and there's nothing but solitude.

     Working in the city as an apprentice baker slash barista can be draining. I got so many orders wrong or I made the cupcakes too flashy, nothing was good enough no matter what I did. I thought having this job would allow me to explore my creative freedom. Then, I could save enough money to open my own bakery cart and just stroll through the city and back home. I'm completely burnt out--too many demands and no one shows appreciation.

     Dealing with bullies all day long, my co-workers banter about me behind my back, and customers yell at me for getting their orders wrong. Lately, I've been catching myself spacing out more often. 

     𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘸𝘴 𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘢𝘺. 𝘕𝘌𝘚𝘛 (𝘕𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘌𝘹𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘚𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘛𝘦𝘢𝘮) 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘩𝘶𝘯𝘬𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘬𝘦𝘯 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘌𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘩. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘥 12 𝘱𝘪𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘰𝘯 𝘳𝘰𝘤𝘬 𝘧𝘭𝘰𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 3 𝘥𝘢𝘺𝘴, 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 4 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 12 𝘱𝘪𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘵 𝘌𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘩 𝘪𝘯 𝘧𝘪𝘷𝘦. 𝘉𝘦𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭, 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘰𝘤𝘬𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘧𝘭𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘳. 𝘚𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘴 𝘥𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘧𝘵, 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘰𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴. 𝘉𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘰𝘤𝘬 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘵.

     All I could see was black...