Weekly Poems - Book Two - August 2024

I'm looking for someone who doesn't talk

I'm looking for someone who doesn't talk.

Who spends all day in front of the mirror

Looking at herself dressed in lycra

Two sizes too small.

Who paints her nails

Sharpening them like talons

And uses them as a reason to not lift a finger.

Around the house—except in anger.

When someone's eaten her favourite snack

In the fridge.

Unannounced, she'll spring into action like an eagle.

Who's found a mouse and scratch and claw

Their eyes out.

I'd like to meet someone who sleeps all day.

And only goes out at night.

Who needs her beauty sleep

Even though she looks like the back end of a bus.

Who watches television never giving up the remote

Watching programs about cooking and dancing

Something she never ever does.

But she says one day she will, and she'll love it.

Who keeps on telling me I should find a hobby

Something that will bring in a bit of extra money.

She says she wants to go away on holiday.

And she can only stay in 5-star luxury.

It's difficult for me as I've only got one body.

Which works 6 days a week in 12-hour shifts

The pay isn't great, and even worse is the stick.

I get it when I'm at work.

Still it's better than what I get at home.

I keep telling myself when I'm sitting all alone.