The Rabbits In The South

Chapter 7

Five days have passed since Camilla encountered Yohan. The coat laid every day of those weeks on her bed, only disturbed by the hour of midnight, when she'd place her nose on it and inhale. Shame rumbled in her stomach when Jin and Sun would show up for breakfast, smelling of Yohan. There were times when Marie would come home from work, and with a single whiff, she could smell his scent underneath the stench of alcohol, cigars, and sweat. Jealousy bubbled in her intestines, as she thought about how close Yohan must have been for his scent to latch onto her.

She felt utterly stupid.

With the hot season still in session, the sun beamed upon every inch of land, and unshaded space on the earth. Even standing close to the kitchen window made her feel slight jolts of pain. Her usual errands of art materials and food were left off until the sun wouldn't burn her skin off and even then, she'd dress as if she were a woman from the 15th century. No skin in sight.

When the sun lowered onto the earth, the sky changed to splashes of pink and purple. In the kitchen, Camila's ears pick up the light stutter of Marie's heartbeat just as she enters the vicinity of their home. Marie comes in with a sigh of relief, slapping her work bag on the small wooden table. Marie blends into the serene silence in the house. She does not speak for a minute, but her nails softly tap on the wooden table. Her heart thumps violently until Camila turns to face her with a perplexed expression.

"What?"

Marie runs a hand through her brown curls, leaning back onto the wooden seat, "Yohan and Nico invited us to dinner...at their house tomorrow."

Camila's knees buckle at Marie's words, panic setting into her loins. "Oh."

Silence settles again. Camila can hear Marie bite the inside of her cheek. "We should go."

The words come out Camilas mouth with such uncertainty that it almost sounds like a question. She shifts from foot-to-foot thinking of Yohan's coat in her bed. She's aware of the implication that this invitation poses and her shoulders slump. She needs to return the coat. Perhaps the dinner invitation was Yohan's way of asking her to politely give his coat back, despite her never asking for it. Or this was his way of saying that she could keep it.

She shifts out of her thoughts when Marie smiles, "All right. Yeah, we should."

Despite Marie's attempt to sound cool and indifferent, she knows that deep inside she was practically screaming in glee. Her liking for Nico was evident. Too evident. She leaves the kitchen, allowing Camila to sit down on the wooden chair, and places her forehead on the table with a deep sigh.

She is to face Yohan and act as if she did not touch every crevice of her body to the scent of him. She's to lie and say that she "forgot" his coat and would take it to the club the next day. She's to act normally and keep her hunger at bay despite his scent lingering on her nostrils, carving itself into her memories. Camila walks out of the kitchen, ears listening to Marie's squeals. Her shoulders are down, her face unreadable. Camila walks into her room, the black wool coat on her bed and without question she runs her fingers on it, smiling while shame boils in the deepest pits of her stomach.

The next day flowed into the earth while Camila lay in bed until the sun soon lowered itself away from the earth, painting the sky black with clouds of bright stars. The night is cold, with cicadas and frogs screaming. Camila does not ask Marie about the invitation, or what time they're supposed to leave or get ready. Instead, she lays on her bed until the shower head starts to run. She had laid on her bed a pair of long black trousers, a black sleeveless turtleneck top, and black ballerina flats. Before laying on her bed, she had internally fought with herself trying to find the best pants and top that complemented all her features.

Now she looks at the clothing she has laid out and considers exchanging for a long black dress or adding some colors to seem different or perhaps more interesting. Camila slides to the cold wooden floor, lying her skin on it. The floor is cold, and smells of Clorox as does the rest of the house. She had frantically cleaned every inch of the house, over and over again. She lays unmoving, limbs asleep until the shower stops, and she can hear Marie's footsteps.

She takes a shower, as Marie dresses and soon they're both downstairs heels clicking impatiently on the wooden floor. Marie looks excited with a pink flowy dress that hugs her waist, while her curls are down. They step out of the house, get into the car, and drive to Nico and Yohan's. Camila leans against the seat, staring out into the dark woods.

"What is it with you and Nico?"

Marie turns her head, "What?"

Camila bites the inside of her cheek, turning her head to the window and watching as dark green trees pass violently, "Are you serious about Nico?"

"I am."

They fall into silence again. Camila thinks about her next words, trying to piece them together inside her head. She wants to understand her fixation and dig into the knuckles of her desire. Death isn't the end goal with Yohan. She doesn't want to kill him but rather open his chest and dig into his ribcage until she finds every piece of his childhood, desires, past, and future. She wants to do it while he's alive, and his silky voice is telling her everything that she's pulling out of his chest, in detail.

"How do you know?"

Marie shrugs, taking one hand off the steering wheel to scratch her head, then places it back. She takes a deep breath, then grinds her teeth against each other. "I just...get this feeling when I'm with him like...I need to be close to him or talk to him...And he's funny, spoils me, and sees a future...with me."

Camila lets out a throaty laugh at Marie's words, who begins to laugh along with her, "He spoils you?"

Marie frantically nods, "Yes, he does. You know the yellow vintage dress that I had wanted for our graduation that I cried for because it was sold out?"

Camila nods then grimace as the memories resurface, "Yeah, it was the first time I saw you vomit."

"I had told him about it, and a week later...he brought the dress to me in that exact color and many more."

They laugh at Marie's words, but Camila thinks back to Yohan. Camila cares not for jewelry or pricy clothing. If Yohan wanted to spoil her, she'd want him bare. Vulnerable in all aspects.  Physically and emotionally. 

Camila loses focus as they drive to the house. She stares out to the window again, watching the trees again, watching as they disappear into buildings, light poles, and shadows outline bodies. They take turns left and right, into what Marie commented to be a "cookie-cut community". Houses surrounded them left and right, all white or cream colored with the same modern design and clean front yard.

When Marie finally stops, they come face to face with a white house surrounded by three cars in different colors. Yellow lights shine through the windows, and she smells oil, beer, and garlic. She focuses hard enough and hears light jazz music, and the light gruff in Nico's voice, followed by Jin and Sun. Camila follows behind, her body buzzing out of its skin when Marie's knuckles rasp on the door. She hears footsteps then the door opens, revealing a red-faced Jin. He cheers attacking them with hugs and pulling them inside the house. "They're here."

The house is a surprise to Camila, given the stereotype of how men are revoltingly unorganized when living with each other. However, rather than finding disarray, Camila found the house to be rather warm and cozy. At the entrance, on the left is a dark wooden table with a black statue of a cat, and a crystal tray filled with keychains. On top of the table, on the wall is a black mirror that stares back at Camila with her own reflection.

Nico comes rushing to us, more towards Marie whom he hugs, arms circling her waist. She watches with a tilted head as he pushes his nose into Marie's neck. She ignores them but finds solace in the excited rhythm of Marie's heart. Camila rushes a "hi" to Nico and moves towards Sun, who quickly hugs her. She stays still for a couple of minutes then returns the gesture, her arms finding their way around Sun's waist then she drops them.

When he pulls back, alcohol drifts into Camila's nose as he speaks, his voice is low just above a whisper. "Yohan is in the kitchen."