PURPLE HEART - Soliders Of Fortune [BOOK TWO]

Chapter THIRTY FOUR

Sunday 'Sunny' Santos

I should have known better, but despite myself I had hoped Max would say something, anything to change my mind.. But he'd done very nearly nothing to convince me that I wasn't completely alone in my feelings..

Of course I am!

How could I have forgotten being traded like livestock?
I need to remember that I am here for one reason, and it isn't love.. I'm here so this tiny, innocent life within me can have a better life than the one my father gave me.. I'm here for a chance at happiness and independence and freedom..

Besides, why would a man, who could have any woman he chooses, pick me? A low rent girl from the streets, with no prospects, no education, no family, pregnant with another man's baby and penniless.. I'm hardly a catch, and beyond his need for an obedient wife who would help him carry out his mysterious plans, there is so little I have to offer.

It's no wonder he isn't interested, and I can't blame him..

I've been kidding myself with a pipe dream of possibility, a dream of happily ever after that would never be my destiny, and now I am dragged back down to the pathetic reality that Max doesn't like me back.. At least, not the way I like him..

There must be something wrong with me, that I would be drawn to the darkness in men, time and time again, my heart never learns its lesson, leading me to an inevitable destruction..
It's enough to bring a prickle of sadness to my eyes... Or perhaps that's just the pregnancy hormones, once again leading me astray..

"We're going out tonight, Zakya.." Max stops me, just as I reach the gym door.. Blinking back the threat of tears, I stand with my back to him to hide my fragility..

I don't want him to see, to know my pain.. He doesn't owe me a chance.. He doesn't owe me anything..

He'd asked me to stay and I'd agreed..

Still, something is wrong.. I can feel it in my instincts, radiating from my solar plexus to spread throughout my body.. A stress response warning me to tread lightly..

Max has been acting strange lately, avoiding me at every opportunity, and I have no idea why..
I'm not even sure I want to find out, because any more bad news wold only hurt more..

Which is why I couldn't be more surprised by his proposition.. "¿Neta?" (really) The flutter of excitement that stirs in my stomach betrays me.. I can't help but think of the last date I'd been taken on.. Javier had promised me a celebratory dinner and instead he brought me to Na Pont to trade me to a Loan Shark.. Not exactly the most romantic of evenings.. "Where are we going?"

A little voice in the back of my mind frets..
If Javier could dump me so easily, could Max do the same?

Just the very thought of it is a dagger of ice to my heart.. A new kind of ache I've never known before, and even though I had just told him I wanted to be friends, I can't help but hold out hope that some part of him might see me as something more than a poor broken doll, an illegal, a whore.. Or whatever else I have been branded as in the past..