HATCHETS & CROWBARS

3

Toby was standing near a tree a few several meters away from the house, he seemed like he had been crying, his breath trembling. I looked down at him and frowned. "Toby...?" I whispered.

He looked like he was in that dissociative trance of his again, he didn't look at me, his breath steadily quickening.

"Toby." I knelt near him, putting a hand out to his shoulder.

He grabbed my hand roughly, snapping out of it, breathing heavily.

I flinch at his sudden grabbing, but don't move away, staring at him. "It's okay..."

Toby lets go of my hand, moving away from me. "I didn't m-mean to hurt you, I'm sorry... Haha. I keep hu-hu-hurting you, you should r-run away, get away from me!" There was a small quivering tone in his voice, one that was familiar to me. It was his old self peeking through again. My Toby, not the killer one.

I gently rubbed his back, noticing his rising panic. "Shh... just breathe, it's okay..." I comforted him. "It's okay, I know you don't want to hurt me."

His breath continued to shake as he pressed his goggles tightly onto his face, trembling, twitching, his neck cracking.

"Remember when I hurt you that one time?" I said, smiling.

"You h-hurt me?" He looked up, his cloudy eyes hidden behind the orange reflective lenses of the goggles. "When? Click."

"It was nearing the end of 8th grade." I recalled. "It was gym, we were outside, running track. It was our end of the year exam to see if we had improved..."

"Mr. Matthews?" He asked.

"Yes, Mr. Matthew's our old fat gym teacher." I laughed, looking up at the sky through the tree branches. "We were running, and I decided to be an asshole and trip you as a joke, I didn't expect you to fall." I shook my head. "I know you couldn't feel pain, but I felt so bad seeing you face down on the asphalt."

Toby laughed a little at that. "My kn-knees were scraped, I remember t-that..."

"Yes, I was crying so much when I saw you were bleeding, I carried you to the nurse's office." I smiled at the memory, then looked to him patting his back. "People hurt each other sometimes, it's just nature. I forgive you."

Toby nodded a little, taking deep breaths. "You shouldn't join us." He whispered. "If you run n-now, I'll let you go..."

I frowned, moving a bit closer to him, my shoulder pressed against his. "No... you won't let me go, Toby."

Toby was silent, gripping his hands together. "Y-you don't know that..."

"Your mind will mix up the facts, making you hunt me down as soon as this moment of clarity disappears." I continued. "You'll kill me if I leave you."

He made a sound, it was similar to a whimper but lower, like a hum or a whine. He knew I was right. "I'd make it p-painless..." He tried to offer.

I laughed, knowing that that was also not true. Toby cared about me, I was all he had, so if he was going to kill me, it was going to be messy. I was going to be in pieces by the end.

"I'm not going." I told him. "I'm not leaving you."

He was quiet again, his hands moving to his knees as he sat there.

"You're scared for me..." I continued. "Why? What's going to happen to me if I join you that you're so afraid of?"

"Click. You're going to end up like me," He said, looking at me with wide eyes. "You're going to e-end up just like me and there's no med-medication or treatment t-that will undo it. You're going to be st-st-stuck like this till you d-die." He seemed equally sad and fearful right now, his voice low and quiet.