Scars of Blades

8

The next day dawns bright and lovely.

How is it that anticipation for something is so much worse than the actual event? All day my mind won't focus and once again I leave the Swarm house early.

I can tell Jax feels the same worry I do, but he's keeping it together better than me playing with Tay when he asks, letting me sit by myself trying to read a romance novel I brought from the Swarm.

I'm not usually one for not eating but my heart is so scared for the next day that Jax practically feeds me like a child before I go off to bed early.

I wake up the next morning beside Jax with Tay between us.

Today's the day.

I might truly die this afternoon. Refusing to think of this I work through the plan instead..

I go back to the Swarm saying Jax will arrive a bit late to the siege on the palace. Screw what teasing I'll go through for it, then later Jax will come back to the house with Tay in a bag.

Then I will leave with Conrad.

Jax will smuggle Tay to the castle then after I kill the King and Conrad goes to take the throne. Then during Conrad's speech, Jax will kill him in front of everyone. I can't even think of it. I will then bring out Tay and give a speech about how everybody must work together to help us crown a new king who we can raise to be the best king we've ever had! Everybody will cheer and everything will be perfect!

I know our plan will never work out that perfectly. Lives are going to be lost today. Nothing is going to end perfectly. Nothing.

Besides me Jax stirs.

I glance over at him to find his eyes open watching me, I give him a half hearted small smile.

"Are you nervous?" I ask.

"I'd be worried if I wasn't."

"What if it doesn't work, and we die?"

"Wow, pessimistic much?" Jax laughs before softening his expression at the anxiety showing itself on my face,"we'll be free either way, I guess. Besides, I'd rather die a hero than live being a villain."

"You stole that quote from something didn't you?"

"Isha, you can't expect me to be this perfect and still be able to make up poetic words for you."

I shake my head. Suddenly my voice cracks,"Jax. We're doing the right thing right?"

"Don't look at me, I'm probably the worst person to ask for advice." He says softly.

"I already knew that,"

We both grin until suddenly there's an odd silence between us and my body gets a small tingle as our eyes stay locked on each other.

Out of the blue a crazy inappropriately timed thought comes to me, Jax wants to kiss me.

I cough trying to pretend I didn't feel whatever just happened."I should get going."

Jax just blinks as I stand to go.

As I reach the stairs his voice hits me,"hey."

I turn,"yeah?"

"Even if you're not my friend, I'm yours." He grins. "Now go show Conrad who Isha really is."

The second I reach the Swarm I barely have any time before Conrad and the other leaders of the smaller gangs usher everyone on the mission out of the house.