FATE INSPIRED

Chapter 7

Layla

I had to get to my room.

I felt weak.

Emotionally.

I twisted the doorknob to my room and opened the door. It was dark. Just the faint glow of a single dim electrical lamp by the other side of the bed. Just what I needed, solitude and darkness. I was weak, not just emotionally, but physically drained. I slumped down by the bed and sank my head between my knees. No water came out of my eyes. No sob escaped my mouth. Just my heart beating far more than normal. There was a huge lump that just moved into my throat, making it hard to breathe.

I wasn't sure of the reason for the torment yet. Was it because of the unexpected bomb my family dropped on me? Or maybe I was just overreacting? Maybe I was just exaggerating my response? But it was my family that was on the table. My entire life had been about give and take. I was given utter happiness laid down in front of me. All I had to do was behave well, get good grades, and make them proud. But then, this situation wasn't normal. It was far from it.

The door to the room pushed open and I didn't need to look up to know who it was, my mom walked in. Her presence filled the space with warmth, even in my darkened state. I glanced at her once before burying my head back between knees.

"Why are you sitting on the floor?" She asked gently in Shuwa language, helping herself on the edge of my bed. Her hand slowly found my left shoulder, squeezing it in a comforting gesture.

"Ummi, what am I going do?" I said as my voice trembled.

"Layla, saying yes to this doesn't mean you are getting married instantly." She assured softly. "There's this courting you children do nowadays, you'll have time to get to know each other. Sending a proposal in this age and time is just a formality, in today's world. If you say yes, you are just giving it a chance."

"Ummi, what if I say yes and then regret it later?" I asked, voicing the fear that had been gnawing at me since I left the master bedroom. It was the thought that had been pulling me down all this time.

"No, you won't. In sha Allah, you won't." She replied with a confident smile. "You'll get along, I have a strong feeling. And you know that your brother and I would never do anything to hurt you." She assured.

A tiny chuckle escaped my mouth, but it turned into a sob that didn't catch me off guard, it was long overdue. "Ummi, I'm scared. What if I can't do it? What if we don't get along as you said? I'm not sure I want this."

"No. No, Layla. Don't say that." She soothed, wiping away the tears that had finally started to fall. "Of course, you can. You know what? You don't have to do this if you don't want to because wallah, I swear we won't force you. If you don't want to, then you don't do it. We will both be happy if you say yes, but if you feel you're not okay with this arrangement feel free to say so. We will never force you to do something you are not comfortable with." Ummi said with a soft voice while wiping my tears.

"Ummi, I don't know. I'm... I just... I think I'm scared." I whispered, feeling the weight of my uncertainty.

"It's normal to be scared, habibti. It's okay. I was scared too before I got married to your father." She confided, her voice calm and reassuring. "I told you that your father and I didn't even know each other before we got married. It was afterward that we met, and he fell right in love with me." She came down from the bed and threw a pillow before sitting on it.

I couldn't help but smile at that. "But Ummi, Abba said that you're the one that fell right in love with him."

Ummi laughed softly, a sound that eased some of the tension in my chest. She came from the Shuwa-Kanuri descent of Nigeria while Abba was from the Fulani tribe. The Fulani and the Kanuri didn't always get along, they're more like rivals because of how accurate their differences and similarities were. To puzzle everything out, they decided to start inter-tribal marriages. An inter-tribal union that wasn't always easy but had worked out beautifully.