He has made me fear Death, when I have never been afraid before.
I used to embrace the thought of dying, and leaving this world behind.
I used to welcome it with open arms.
Until I realized that Death may be a thief.
It comes unwelcomed and takes what you love.
Not even God would be able to save the soul of anything who may try to take this from me.
I spent most of my life ready for it to be over.
I put myself in the path of danger and laughed in the face of harm.
I was never scared, even in the moments when Death was near.
It lurked in the backseat of the drunk driven cars.
It watched the blade pierce my wrists, taunting me to find the balls to cut vertically.
It seeped into the ink of the diaries I kept.
Death and I have been tip toeing around in circles, ever since I turned 15.
Even now, I feel it is near.
We were unlikely friends, but it has become a drunken man at a bar... who can't take a hint.
I am officially scared of Death.
I am afraid of dying, because I can't fathom leaving Him.
I am terrified of Death taking Him, because I can't possibly breathe without Him.
Though grim to comprehend, I would gladly Die in His place.
But to Die under any other circumstance would be against my will.
I often wake up in a panic, cold with sweat and worry.
I stare at His chest through the darkness, squinting until the blindness clears.
The rise and fall soothes me back to sleep.
I fear I can't have children.
I fear the worry of them being taken by the Reaper in the night would be too much.
I fear I can't have children.
I fear He will want them one day, regardless of Him saying I am all that matters.
I never before feared Death.
I am terrified of it now.
