After All This Time - Book 3

Twenty Two

The days following my dinner with Dumbledore were a daze. I felt the way I imagined Hermione must've felt every time she saw Ron. I was drifting through life, lacking any animation or sense of reality. I didn't really come back to until that Friday. It was an unusually warm and sunny January day and we were stuck in classes all day. I was sitting at the back of the DADA classroom where I would gain the least amount of attention, gazing out the window as birds flew across the sun. I'm sure Snape noticed, but decided against saying anything in class. It wasn't until we had been dismissed for the afternoon that he snatched my attention from across the room.
"Miss Potter" he called out as students began filing out of the room, "could you please come see me for a moment."
I shuffled to the front where he stood, my book bag weighing heavier on my shoulder than normal. He had a glimmer of worry in his eyes as he looked over me. On the outside I'm sure I looked as normal as ever, but he could sense something was off. I put on a good facade, but nothing that could fool him.
"Miss Potter, your attention seemed to be elsewhere during class. Is everything alright?"
I shrugged, turning my attention back to the windows. "Such a beautiful day and we're stuck inside. What a waste."
I could just see Snape's brow furrow out of the corner of my eye as he took in my response. I knew he wasn't buying it.
"How was your meeting with Dumbledore" he asked.
"I don't know if I can discuss the details" I replied plainly, "not in here at least."
I turned my attention back to Snape who was looking down at me quizzingly. His eyes widened for a second, possibly a moment of realization, before they returned to their normal stature. He nodded once, his lips pursed together in thought, as his eyes scanned the room behind us. I could just make out the faint whispers of two stray students in the back of the room. I didn't necessarily think that telling him I knew who would kill Dumbledore was something they needed to hear.
"How about you come to my office after dinner and I teach you how to make Felix Felicis?"
The sound of learning how to make my own vial of luck perked me up for a moment and I quickly nodded in agreement.
~
"So will you tell me now about your meeting with Dumbledore?"
I shrugged, looking down at the workspace in front of me. "I don't really know if I want to talk about it. Are we actually brewing this or what?"
"Then show me" he said softly. I glanced up at him as he rounded the table, stopping just next to me.
My eyes dropped down to the book in front of me again. It hurt to look him in the eyes. "Dumbledore told me some things... I don't know if I'm supposed to know them."
I could hear Snape's breath catch in his throat.
"Erm, what kind of things?"
"Things that you and Draco have been hiding from me" I said lowly. "That Draco has to be the one to kill Dumbledore."
"Oh" Snape finally said after a few moments of silence.
"Oh? Is there something else you aren't telling me??"
"No, no" Snape said, shaking his head. "I just wasn't sure if that's what Dumbledore had told you..."
"So what, you were just going to keep that from me?" I retorted.
"No" he sighed. "I didn't know how to. It's not a light subject. Is that all he told you?"
"Yes but I feel like there's still something missing with the way you're acting" I snapped. "He already told me the two of you were deceiving me with that, is there something else I should be knowing?"
Snape stood there for a few moments before slowly shaking his head. "No, I'll assume he told you when it'll happen as well."
I nodded. "The thirtieth of June."
Snape had become noticeably jumpier than usual and it was bugging me. It gave me the feeling that there was something Dumbledore was keeping from me that Snape didn't want me to know. We continued in silence for another 10 minutes before I put my book down and turned to him.
"Do you want to just see what happened" I asked bluntly.
"You don't have to-" he started.
"No I want to. You're acting all weird about it and it's freaking me out. I'd rather you just saw it for yourself."
Not even a second later he was infiltrating my mind. I watched at the memory of that night passed again, letting him freely experience every second of it. As quickly as he came, he left again.
"Happy?" I asked as I turned back to my potions book.
"Yes, sorry" Snape replied. "I just didn't know the extent of what Dumbledore had shared. I didn't want to just casually bring up things he hadn't discussed with you yet."
"Like the Unbreakable Vow?"
"Like that" Snape replied.
"You sure do make a lot of those" I snorted.
"Like Albus said, I do a lot for the people I love."
"So you love Harry?" I laughed. "Yeah right."
"His parents were good friends. It was the least I could do" he replied.
I paused for a moment, my brows furrowing. They weren't good friends, or at least my Uncle James wasn't. I couldn't speak for my Aunt Lily. I decided to just drop it and change the subject. He probably agreed to it out of the guilt of having a hand in their deaths, and I didn't want to be the one to bring those feelings back.
"So are we actually going to brew this? I've been rereading the same page for half an hour now."
Snape let out a low chuckle "I wasn't actually planning on it, but we can if you want."
"What in the world were we going to do then?" I exclaimed, stepping back from the table with my hands on my hips.
"I needed to brew a healing draught for Albus, but, I can watch over you while I do that" he said. He turned from the table and walked over to his small supply cabinet, pulling out everything I needed and bringing it back over to me. "Everything you need to brew one measly vial of liquid luck."
"It can't be that hard" I said as I sifted through the vials now surrounding me. "I have your notes anyways."
"Maybe not for the seasoned potions master, but for an apprentice, it could prove quite fickle" he said from behind me.
His arms came around me, hands resting on the table on either side of me. I could feel the warmth of his breath on my neck as he peered over my shoulder at the book in front of me.
"There" he said, moving his hand to point at a line halfway through the potion, "that is where most mess up."
My heart was racing at a million miles per hour. The way this man still made me feel after all this time. I arched my back ever so slightly, acting like I was just shifting my weight, but in reality trying to make even the slightest of contact to try and get a rouse out of him.
"Not here" he said lowly into my ear. He walked back around to his work station, his fingertips ever so lightly dragging around my waist as he left me.
I huffed at him but he paid no mind to me, just continued on his brewing as usual.
"You know we haven't practiced my flying in a while" I remarked. "Now that Umbridge is gone, maybe we can try again?"
"I thought you did well enough the last time" he replied. His head was already buried in his work, he obviously wasn't picking up what I was putting down.
"Well I'd like to try again" I said. "I barely got far enough away from Hogwarts last time."
"You made it to the mountains" he responded plainly.
"But we had to apparate back" I reminded him.
Snape kept on with his potion in silence for a few minutes before finally putting down his ladle and turning to me. "This has to simmer for an hour. Do you have a warmer cloak than that?"
I shook my head, looking down at my basic school robes. "It's in my room."
"Here" he said as he walked into his private chambers. He came back moments later with a heavier winter cloak that he put on my shoulders. "It's a bit large, but it should keep you warm. Let's go."
I pulled the cloak tight around my neck and practically ran out of his office towards the Astronomy Tower. I was giddy with excitement, the butterflies were building in me the closer I got. I was just hoping he was catching on to what I was up to.
I made it to the tower a few minutes ahead of him, giving me time to compose myself before he appeared. When he did finally arrive he walked straight over to the far edge of the tower, motioning me to join him. I walked over, stopping just as the drop below came in to view. I could almost see all the way to the ground in the bright light of the moon. It was a deadly drop. I shuffled back a foot, putting a little more distance between myself and sudden death.
"So where to" I asked.
Snape shrugged. "You're the one who wanted to practice. Wherever you go, I will follow."
I looked out as far as I could into the distance, barely spotting a mountain peak past where I stopped the previous time. "There" I said.
Snape turned to me, eyebrows raised. "Quite advantageous, but you can try. Watch out for the Aurors."
"You don't think..."
Snape shook his head, chuckling lightly. "I know they're not out at this hour. Otherwise, I never would have agreed to this."
I nodded and turned back to the mountain. Okay, I did this once and I could do it again. I closed my eyes, focusing everything I could onto taking flight. Within a second I felt myself shoot up into the air. I opened my eyes as I flew over the outer walls of Hogwarts, soaring through the moonlit sky towards the snow covered mountains.
It had only been maybe a minute, but I could already tell my aspirations for the far mountains were a bit out of reach still. Much to my own dismay I quickly changed course, heading for a small island in the middle of the Black Lake. I landed in a heap on the ground, Snape's cloak cushioning the blow ever so slightly. I groaned as I laid there, trying to catch my breath and waiting for a sign that Snape saw me.
"Seems as though you did need this more than I thought." His voice drew out slowly from the darkness as I heard his footsteps meander towards me. He came in to view a moment later, crouching down next to me to help me sit upright. "You're okay?"
I nodded. "The mountains were a little more advantageous than I thought" I softly laughed. "I'm okay, just winded."
I looked over at Snape who was still crouched next to me, the slightest of smiles on his face as his eyes scanned mine. He leaned in a little closer to me, his hand reaching around the back of my neck to pull me the rest of the way in to him. His lips met mine, the warmth of them radiating through me. The butterflies in my stomach encapsulated my entire body as he gently kissed me.
"I know why you wanted to come out here" he whispered as he pulled back to look at me. "I'm glad you did, for this, but I also needed to talk with you in complete privacy."
My heart was pounding in my throat. There were only so many things Snape would want this level of privacy to talk to me about. "Is everything ok" I squeaked out.
Snape nodded. "Yes, yes, I didn't mean to worry you. It's just, now that you know, I need you to understand what is going to happen."
I furrowed my brows. My ears were ringing now with the pressure building inside of me. "What do you mean?"
"You are going to wake up on the morning of the fourteenth with your entire family and friends knowing what you truly are. There is no future where they do not find out and you continue to live. Even if there was..." he trailed off for a moment, "you would never see Draco or myself again."
"Where do I go..."
"The Malfoy's are always delighted to host you..." he trailed off, "or you can stay with me if you'd like. You are of legal age of course, you can choose."
"My belongings at Hogwarts?"
"There's time to make arrangements and fake excuses to pack. I would ask your parents to send anything you might want from home."
It slowly started to weigh on me that Christmas might've been the last time I would ever see my parents. I couldn't imagine they would ever want to even look at me again once they found out.
"There's prying ears at Hogwarts" he began, standing up and offering me his hand. "Anything that is said must be either in the confines of Dumbledore's office or away from school grounds. That includes Draco, whom I think it would be wise to start limiting your interactions with. Again, the castle has sprouted a few extra sets of ears."
I nodded as I stood up and brushed the leaves from my borrowed cloak. "And you?"
"Seeing as I am still your professor" he said as he wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled my towards him, "I'm sure we can make something up."
He pressed his lips to mine again, his other arm wrapping around my shoulders as my hands grasped the collar of his cloak. His warm lips left mine and began trailing across my jaw and down my neck, stopping only when they reached the collar of my shirt.
"We should be going" he whispered in my ear. "Don't want my potion to boil over."
"Your self control is infuriating" I huffed as his arms left me.
"I do hope you decide to stay with me" he replied, motioning me to follow him through the trees towards the shore of the small island. "Then I won't have to have any."
I dropped my head, feeling my face flush bright red. "What do you think is going to happen to Hogwarts after, well, you know."
"Assuming everything happens the way it is planned to, a new headmaster will be installed by the Dark Lord and classes will go on as usual... with some tweaks to curriculum."
"Do you think it will happen?"
Snape stopped in his tracks, glancing around before turning back to me and speaking in a hushed tone. "There is no stopping a prophecy once set in motion. We can only hope for the outcome we most desire."
"What do you hope for, Severus?" I asked him.
"I hope that we both live a very long and fulfilling life."