journal or whatever

tired.

I'm so tired. Of life of me of everyone. I'm just tired. Nothing means anything anymore. I don't mean anything. I'm just here at this point. sitting. waiting for time to pass. trying to feel something for once. I'll laugh around others then cry when I'm alone. it's a never ending cycle. I feel like others hate me and that's fair I hate me too. I just wish things were different. I wish I meant more to others. meant more to myself. but I'm just so tired. I struggle to get out of bed and I struggle to go to sleep. I struggle to live and I'm sure I'll struggle to die. life sucks. what's the point of this never ending cycle. can't nature take it's course. there's no sense of time one minute you blink and it's been 10 years. I wish time would pass quicker. I just want to cry or sleep. I hope death is peaceful. I hope it's like getting carried to bed like when you were a child and fell asleep in the car or on the couch. I just want peace for once. peace and quiet. I want everything to change but I don't know how. I'm so tired...