Journey

Give It a Chance or Choose a New Puzzle

At the beginning of May, my ex-girlfriend came to meet me from outside the island. He suddenly appeared in my office when I arrived. This is something new, because usually he comes to the city center in July or early January. but actually I'm sure he will come to see me sooner or later. But I just didn't expect him to come this quickly. I'm sure he wants to straighten out what he's done, apologize and won't do it again. Trite words that people usually use when they are lying or making a mistake and when looking for new opportunities. That day he came to see me at the office, as usual he expressed sadness. Usually I can't accept that expression, but now it's different, I no longer care about what he will do or what his expression is like. He was silent without saying a word, and I didn't pay attention to him, even until lunch time he just sat outside without saying a word. I still didn't start talking to him, even seeing his face made me sick. I went out to buy lunch, seeing him just sitting quietly didn't make me feel sorry or sorry for him. I passed right beside him without saying anything and without looking at him, when that hand reached out and gripped my wrist tightly. He reached out his hand and gave "our" savings book and "our" ring. It was a savings book that we both saved for more than 5 years and an engagement ring that we both usually wear. When our relationship ended I gave everything to him from our joint savings to our engagement ring.

"What for? Just hold it, I don't need both of them."

"Please, I want to talk"

"What's more to talk about, our relationship clearly ended several months ago."

"Please, let's talk"

He held my hand tightly and while walking looked for a place for us to have lunch and to talk privately. I just obeyed his wishes to go looking for a place to eat. We arrived at a place to eat, which I usually eat there during office lunch hours.

"I apologize"

"I forgave you, even before our relationship ended."

"I want to fix it"

"Sorry I can not"

"Didn't you say, you would never leave me no matter what? Didn't you say you would never leave me, even if I was disabled?"

"That's true, I would never leave you even when you were blind, paralyzed, or worse, but this time you are the one who left me."

"I'm really sorry Van, I know I was wrong, I know I don't deserve forgiveness, but can you give me a chance? God also gives opportunities, can't you give me a second chance?"

"For me there is no chance. If you get another man besides me, please leave, choose the second one, don't choose the first one, if you really love me, the second person will never be present in this relationship. Indeed, our relationship is an open relationship, You can go with anyone, I can go with anyone, maybe sooner or later we will like someone other than us, I understand that, but it is a stick of trust because we know we both have the same boundaries, have trust that we hold together. I've also liked someone other than you several times, but I understand my limits when I start to like them, even when another woman expresses her feelings for me, I know her limits, when those limits start to get narrow I always leave that woman at least a little bit I never tell other women that I don't have a girlfriend. I always tell them all that I have a girlfriend that I love very much, not even a few of them have a problem being the second one if you are visiting the city center. But I know my limits, I understand the lines we have drawn over the past dozen years. but you crossed that limit, maybe you don't even care about the existence of that limit in our relationship. Because of that, there will never be another chance for you."

"I know I crossed that line, I know I was wrong, I know I was really stupid. I know you too will say something like this when I want to ask for a chance. But I'm really sincerely sorry Van, help me, now I'm right - I really don't know what I have to do to get this relationship back, every day I pray and ask God so that you can come back with me, give me a chance, give you back your trust in me, even for the past few months I haven't focused on doing any activities, work I was abandoned, my master's school was abandoned, everything was destroyed, my mind was only filled with you in it, my mistakes, how stupid I was, I was completely destroyed, please give me another chance to fix it."