The Gilded Cage

Chapter One: Adele

Three years later
I knew my past would eventually come back to haunt me. For three years, my days and nights have been filled with terror and anxiety, hoping that I wouldn't be found among the people of Solare. By the grace of the goddess, I have remained hidden. I no longer shine shoes but dress women. After my five-month stay in the Bonaparte manor, I learned a few things about how to dress a woman, which colors suit her best, and even how to assist with etiquette. I'm paid better now than when I shined shoes, which is fortunate because my son is growing fast. Julian is my bright sun amid dark fears. At three, he is a ball of energy, curious about everything. I do my best to keep him entertained and, most importantly, hidden. The Bonaparte line is etched on his face. Every time I look at him, I see Cesare, and a mix of love and fear swirls within me.
Should I have sought out Cesare when I was thrown out of the manor? Should I have tried harder to explain to Ezra about the arrangement with Cesare? Maybe Signora Eva was right—I should have left sooner and accepted her offer to move to another family. I've thought about it all, and it seems that if I had left Cesare, he would have severed all ties with Signora Eva. He would have cut her out of the Bonaparte line somehow, even though she was the matriarch. He would have done something terrible.
I could have explained my situation to Ezra, but the look on his face—the shame, disgust, and disappointment—was too much. I couldn't go through with the marriage, especially since I was carrying Cesare's child. Ezra was no friend of the duke, and I couldn't force Julian on him, even though he cared for me. I somehow made a complete mess of things when all I wanted was a satisfying meal and a soft bed to sleep in with a roof over my head. Clearly, I was thinking out of fear and hunger.
"Mama, tell me a stowy," my son said as I tucked him into bed. His speech was endearing, but I knew I would have to teach him how to form the letters "R" and "L." He catches on quickly, but those letters escape him for some reason.
"All right, I'll tell you a story," I said, sitting next to him. "Once upon a time, there was a mermaid who was enchanted by the upper world. She would swim up to see the sun and watch the men catch fish or sail by on their large ships. On this particular day, she saw a little boy fall from one of these ships."
My son's eyes widened in surprise. He had heard this story plenty of times, but this part always filled him with excitement.
"She was confused at first, for she had never seen a boy before, so she swam over and rescued him from drowning. The boy fell in love with the mermaid the moment she pulled him out of the sea and back to land. As she placed him on the shore, the boy found his voice and said, 'Don't go. I want you to be my wife. I can make you happy and love you forever.' The mermaid was surprised at his declaration, for mermaids only loved the sea and found happiness in the ocean. She replied, for the sea goddess had given mermaids the ability to quickly learn what they hear and see, 'That is very generous of you, but you cannot. I am only happy when I am in the sea. The sea is my only love.' She turned and swam back into the ocean. The boy, however, never forgot her and made it his mission to find his mermaid."
"Mowe, Mama, pwease," my son asked, and I nodded.
"Years went by, and the boy grew into a handsome man who chartered a ship to seek the mermaid. He sailed the open sea looking for her for months until one day, he caught her in his fishing net. She was exactly as he remembered her, but the mermaid didn't recognize him. He told his men to cut her free and leave her on the deck. The mermaid was furious with the men who had caught her, but then the man explained who he was and why he had come so far to find her. The mermaid was impressed with the young man, yet she was not happy. 'Give me a chance. Give me one year to make you happy, and if you are not, then I will give up this mission, and you will remain in the ocean, unbothered by anyone ever again. Even though I will love you always.' The mermaid thought it over for a fortnight, and when the sun rose, her tail became feet. 'I will allow you one year, and then you will return me to the sea.'
So, for a year, the man did everything he could to make the mermaid happy. He bought her anything and everything a woman could want, took her to places most people only dreamed of, and still, she was not happy. Then one day, the young man's sister came to visit with her children. The mermaid was astonished at their little faces and laughter. She watched them play in the grass, run with the family dog, and hug their mother and father. For the first time, the mermaid felt a sense of emptiness wash over her. The young man noticed the mermaid becoming more withdrawn after his sister and her family left.
'What is the matter?' he asked.
She looked at him and said, 'I wish to have a child.'
The young man was bewildered at the mermaid's request. 'A child?'
'Yes, I wish to have a child. I believe that would make me happier than the sea ever could.'
The young man was struck silent at her first-ever request and answered, 'No.'
'Then return me to the sea if you cannot grant my one request.'
Heartbroken, the young man returned the mermaid to the sea, where to this day, she still longs for a child to bring her happiness. And the young man lives in regret for not granting her single request."
Julian made a sad face. "I wish she had a child, Mama. Then she could have been happy with that man. If she had a child like me."
I smiled at him as he beamed up at me. His dimples deepened as he smiled, making my heart heavy. "I agree, but that's how the story goes. Plus, it's only a story to help children sleep."
He nodded as he made himself more comfortable. "Good night, Mama. I wove you."
I kissed his forehead. "I love you too, my darling."
I watched him close his eyes and drift off to sleep. I love this time of night when he sleeps peacefully and calmly. The story echoed in my mind. When I first heard it, I felt sad for the mermaid. She wanted what many women desire—to be a mother. Yes, you can have diamonds, expensive clothes, and live in a large mansion with servants attending to your every need. You can travel the world, yet as I watch my son sleep and think about the grandeur I once experienced in exchange for a hot meal, I am grateful for that one careless moment. In that moment, I became a mother, and I will do whatever I must to protect him.