Hearts Don't Lie | Hyunsung

Ch.07: Not What Jisung Signed Up For

Jisung

For as long as I could remember, Minho was the sunrise to my morning. He'd rouse me from sleep just in time to make it to class, and when my nights ended in drunken chaos which was totally under my control hadn't it been for Changbin who kept pouring soju into my shot glass, Minho had been there with a steaming bowl of hangover soup, laughing at my pitiful state. Even when he couldn’t stay until I woke up, he made sure I didn’t starve, leaving behind notes that said, “Heat up the food my mom sent, unless you want to starve and die.” which was godsent because his mother's cooking tasted like the food was making out with my tongue. That's how much I loved her food.

Moving on, his presence was stitched into the very seams of my everyday life, so much so that I never realized how tightly I was bound to it until he stopped doing so. He started being careful around me when he dated Chan and I respected that but his absence in my morning was then more prominent ever since the whole dating charade— painfully so. Worse, I couldn't complain because that was exactly what I needed. Some space before my love melted brain explode and does the unthinkable.

If you asked me when I fell for him, or what moment made me love him, I wouldn’t have an answer for you. It wasn’t some grand, sweeping gesture, or a single, breathtaking moment that stole my heart. Love, I think, is more of a slow burn, a gentle accumulation of moments that build up over time.

Sure, I’d joked that all it takes is one of his smiles to turn me into a puddle, but that’s just scratching the surface of what I feel for him.

What I feel for him? It's a lot, honestly, but after years of pining, I’d managed to find a way to keep my cool around him—or at least I tried to.

I was fifteen when I first attempted to confess, and though I didn’t succeed, I wouldn’t call it a failure either. Our friendship continued the way it was. So, I wouldn't exactly call it a failure.

“You’re still raking in the gifts, I see,” I teased, leaning casually against the locker in his empty classroom. Everyone else had gone home, leaving him behind to finish cleaning duty. I suspected his classmates had bailed on him, or worse, were giving him a hard time. He was well-liked, sure, but that kind of popularity came with its own set of problems.

Minho never let it bother him. He’d shrug it off, saying they were just full of crap and if anyone dared to mess with him, they knew they’d get it back tenfold. Even so, I knew Minho like the back of my hands. He endured everything simply because he didn't like to make a big deal of things. He was a fighter, sure, but never quite the troublemaker (On the contrary, I was the troublemaker. With the troubles I had caused, I got myself the title "little shit" which was popular among my teachers).

“Want some?” he asked, pulling out a handful of candy from his locker and dumping it into my hand before I could even respond, knowing full well I’d never turn down free treats. I was a foodie through and through.

I unwrapped one and popped it into my mouth. “With all this attention, there’s gotta be someone at school who’s caught your eyes, right?”

I’d rehearsed this moment for weeks, planning exactly how I’d confess. It took a lot of courage to do something this terrifying. Even at that young age, love was already something I considered taboo and confiding my feelings towards the one I dedicated my affection for was absolutely horrifying but I pulled through. I decided to trust myself for once that I wouldn't mess it up and even if I did, the least I could do was maybe cry myself to sleep and hope my bed swallowed me alive to the core of earth.

Being alone with him after school seemed like the perfect opportunity.

Despite going to a different school, I’d pedal like crazy from my middle school to his high school every day, just so we could walk home together. It was our time, our little pocket of the day where it was just the two of us. It was a precious time, so I couldn't help but be greedy of it. We hardly ever spend our days together with the different schools, schedule and what not.