Unspoken // Bakudeku

Chapter four

By now, it's Friday, and I finally get to be in one of my favorite places. The quietness, calmness, and atmosphere of the library help soothe my mind after a week of overthinking. The smell of the new books coming in is familiar, one of my favorite scents since middle school."Hey, Deku, can you take over cashiering? I've got to take this call from my boyfriend," Denki asks, and I nod as he walks away, phone already pressed to his ear.On my way to the cashier, I notice some books from the display on the floor. Denki must've knocked them over—typical. As I'm picking them up and putting them back in place, I hear a book drop onto the counter. "How can I help you, sir—" My friendly cashier face drops. "What are you doing here, Bakugou?"He widens his eyes slightly, smirking. "What happened to 'Kacchan,' Deku?"Honestly, I was praying Denki would be done with his phone call by now, but of course, he isn't. "Oh my god, you really are obsessed with me. Look, 'Kacchan,' just leave." I try to look him in the face, but it's not the grumpy expression I used to know—he's smirking. It kinda makes me blush."Book," he says, tapping on the manga on the counter. It's an 18+ BL manga: *BJ Alex.* I flush at the thought of him reading this. As I'm about to scan it, I stop and laugh. "I didn't think you'd read this kind of book. Makes sense, though—Chanwoo's the type of guy you'd hook up with," I mutter, scanning the book and packing it up."Oh?" I look up at him with wide eyes, realizing he heard me. "You've read it? Makes sense. You do remind me of Dong-Gyun. Are you obsessed with Alex?" he asks, giving me what looks to be a flirty smile.I muster all my courage and look back up at him. "Actually, I prefer Myung-Dae. Your total is $13.99," I tell him, handing him the paper bag with the book inside."I'm not here for the book only. I'm here for you," he says, handing me the money. I can't react in any other way except to squint my eyes."Bitch, what?""There's this party at the frat tomorrow, and I want you to go with me. Not with Half-and-Half, not with that fucking Shinsou guy." Is he fucking kidding me?The library, usually my sanctuary, suddenly feels like it's closing in on me. Bakugou's presence has a way of doing that—turning my calm into chaos. I can feel my face heating up, but I try to keep my composure.
"You heard me, Deku," Bakugou says, his voice low and teasing. That infuriating smirk is still plastered on his face, as if he's enjoying every second of this.I fumble with the change, trying to process what he just said. "You're here for me? What the hell are you talking about, Bakugou?" I manage to say, my voice coming out more irritated than I intended."Don't act like that," he replies, leaning on the counter with an air of confidence that's both confusing and aggravating. "Please? I swear I'll leave you alone if you go.""Wait, what?" I almost laugh, but the sound comes out more like a choke. "Okay. Only because you said 'please,' and I didn't think that was possible."He narrows his eyes slightly, his smirk fading into something like embarrassment. For a moment, I think he might back off, but instead, he surprises me again."Okay, good. I'll pick you up tomorrow at eight. Don't make me look bad," he says, his tone calmer now, almost too calm. He winks at me and walks away.My heart pounds in my chest, a mix of confusion and something else I can't quite place. Memories of our past, the way he treated me, the years of hurt—they all come rushing back. But there's something more, something I've buried deep down that I don't want to admit, even to myself.Denki finally returns, oblivious to the tension that just filled the room. "Everything good, Deku?" he asks, cheerful as always.I nod, but my mind is miles away, trying to make sense of what just happened. Bakugou showing up here, the way he was talking—it's all too much. And yet, a part of me can't stop thinking about what he said.I shake my head, trying to push the thoughts away. I've got too much going on to let Bakugou mess with my head like this. But I know this isn't the last I'll see of him, and that thought is both terrifying and...exciting.The rest of my shift at the library passes in a haze. Denki tries to engage me in conversation a few times, but I just nod and smile, not really hearing what he's saying. My mind is too occupied with thoughts of Bakugou—his sudden appearance, his strange request, and the confusing emotions it stirred up in me.By the time my shift ends, I'm mentally exhausted. I pack up my things and say goodbye to Denki, who cheerfully waves as I leave. The walk back to my dorm is quiet, the cool evening air doing little to calm the storm of thoughts in my head.Once I'm back in my room, I toss my bag on the floor and collapse onto my bed, staring up at the ceiling. Why did Bakugou ask me to go to the party with him? And why did I agree? I'm not the same person I was in middle school, and yet, somehow, he still manages to get under my skin.I pull out my phone and open my texts, scrolling through the messages from friends and classmates, but there's nothing from Bakugou. Not that I expected anything, but part of me was curious if he'd follow up. Shaking my head, I drop the phone onto the bed beside me. I need to get out of my own head.Deciding I need a distraction, I grab one of the books I borrowed from the library earlier in the week. But even as I try to focus on the story, my mind keeps drifting back to Bakugou. The way he smirked, the confident tone in his voice—it's all too much. I close the book with a sigh and toss it aside.The night stretches on, and before I know it, it's morning. Saturday. The day of the party. My stomach twists at the thought, but I try to push the anxiety down. It's just one night, I tell myself. I can handle one night.The day passes quickly, and before I know it, it's time to get ready. I stand in front of my closet, staring at the clothes hanging there, unsure of what to wear. Something casual? Something a little more dressed up? I don't want to give Bakugou the satisfaction of thinking I'm putting in extra effort, but at the same time, I don't want to look like I don't care at all.After much deliberation, I settle for a bold outfit—black low-rise baggy jeans, a fitted black see-through cropped tank top, loads of jewelry, and my favorite red sneakers. It's comfortable but still looks good. As I finish getting ready, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I look...different. A little more confident, maybe. A little more ready to face whatever the night might throw at me.Just as I'm about to grab my phone, there's a knock at the door. My heart skips a beat. I open it to find Bakugou standing there, looking as effortlessly cool as ever in a black leather jacket and baggy ripped jeans. He gives me a once-over, his eyes lingering for just a second longer than necessary."Ready?" he asks, his voice casual, but there's something in his eyes that makes me think he's sizing me up.I nod, grabbing my phone and keys. "Yeah, let's get this over with."As we head out of the dorm and towards the party, the silence between us feels heavy. I can feel Bakugou glancing at me out of the corner of his eye, but I refuse to look at him. I'm determined to keep my guard up tonight, no matter what.The frat house is buzzing with activity when we arrive. Music is blasting, and people are already spilling out onto the front lawn, red cups in hand. As we step inside, the noise and energy hit me like a wave, and I feel a pang of anxiety. This isn't my scene, but I'm here now, and there's no turning back.Bakugou leads the way through the crowd, and I follow close behind, trying not to bump into anyone. We finally make our way to a slightly quieter corner of the house, where a few familiar faces are hanging out. Kirishima spots us first, a grin spreading across his face as he waves us over."Yo, Bakugou! Deku! You made it!" he says, clearly happy to see us.Bakugou nods, but doesn't say much. I manage a small smile, trying to ignore the uneasy feeling in my stomach. The rest of the group greets us warmly, and soon we're all talking and laughing. For a while, it almost feels normal, like I'm just another college student at a party with friends. But then, I catch Bakugou watching me again, his expression unreadable.As the night goes on, I try to relax and enjoy myself. I even manage to have a few drinks, though I'm careful not to overdo it. But Bakugou's presence is always there, hovering on the edge of my awareness, making it impossible to fully let go.At one point, Bakugou leans in close, his breath warm against my ear. "You doing okay?"I nod, surprised by the concern in his voice. "Yeah, I'm fine."But as the words leave my mouth, I realize they're not entirely true. I'm not fine. I'm confused, and I don't know what to make of Bakugou's behavior. Being here with Kacchan makes me feel fuzzy inside. I know I won't let my guard down, but if it wasn't him, I probably would.Suddenly, I can feel myself twitching. I feel a hand on my thigh. His hand is warm, it feels bigger than what it seems, and a lot more comforting than I thought it would be. I feel unsure of what's happening, but I don't want him to move his hand. No way. For a moment, I drift away from the conversation by looking to my right. "Gonna keep staring?" I ask, teasing him this time. He simply laughs it off and moves his hand. And all the comfort I felt is gone. I want to feel it again—I liked the feeling, and I feel bad for it, but I couldn't care less. "Keep your hand right there. I like it," I say, leaning into his shoulder. I flush at my own actions and focus back on the conversation but lose it again when I feel his hand back on my thigh, but this time he starts caressing it. "Just tell me if you want me to stop."The room seems to blur as Bakugou's words sink in, his hand still resting on my thigh, his touch both reassuring and unnerving. My heart races, the noise of the party fading into the background as I focus on the sensation. A part of me wants to push him away, to keep that distance I've maintained for so long, but another part—the part I've tried to bury—wants to lean in closer, to see where this will go.I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself. "No," I whisper, almost afraid of my own voice. "I don't want you to stop."Bakugou's eyes darken slightly, and I see a flicker of something—surprise, maybe?—before his usual confident expression returns. He tightens his grip on my thigh just enough to make me shiver, and I find myself leaning more into him, the warmth of his body grounding me.For a few minutes, we just sit like that, his hand on my thigh, my head resting against his shoulder. It's strange, this unexpected intimacy, but it also feels oddly right. The tension that's always existed between us is still there, but it's different now—less about rivalry and more about something I can't quite define.The conversation around us continues, but I'm only half-listening. I'm too caught up in the feel of Bakugou's hand on me, the subtle way his fingers move, tracing patterns on my skin. It's almost hypnotic, and I find myself relaxing into his touch, letting go of the tension I've been carrying since the moment he walked into the library.At some point, Kirishima notices us and raises an eyebrow, a playful grin spreading across his face. "You two look cozy," he teases, nudging Bakugou with his elbow.Bakugou just smirks, not bothering to move his hand. "Jealous, shitty hair?"Kirishima laughs, shaking his head. "Nah, just surprised. Didn't think you two would get along this well." His tone is light, but there's a hint of curiosity in his eyes as he looks between us.I force a smile, trying to play it off. "We're just... hanging out," I say, but even I can hear the uncertainty in my voice.Kirishima doesn't push it, though, and the conversation shifts back to other things. But now I'm hyper-aware of Bakugou beside me, of the way his hand feels on my thigh, the way his presence seems to fill the space around us. It's overwhelming, and yet, I can't bring myself to pull away. "Follow me in like five minutes," I whisper to Bakugou, the words tumbling out before I can stop them. I stand up, my legs feeling shaky, as I realize what I'm doing. "I'm going to the bathroom. Be right back!" I announce to the group, my voice wavering slightly. Without waiting for a response, I make my way upstairs, my heart pounding in my chest.I walk down the hall, away from the noise and into a room opposite the bathroom. I shut the door behind me, leaning against it for a moment.
//2320 words