''We're reporting to you live from Seoul City where a car crash involving a well known Kpop singer has occurred. The two vehicles collided, one of them having run a red light. The offender has suffered several injuries and has been taken into police custody. But the second vehicle's driver and the celebrity were not so lucky, they were reported dead at the scene. Family will be notified immediately and i fear all of Korea will be mourning the death of this young star. We're sorry to see you go, you will be missed.''
''There was an accident yes, and he was in it; I'm sorry but we couldn't save him.''
''Why?! Why?!''
''I'm sorry it had to come to this.''
''Why, Ni-ki, why?!!''
.............................................................................................................
Jake found himself himself running down the wet street ignoring the rain that drenched him and the thunder and lightning ripping the sky apart overhead. His own cries added to the chaos of the storm; if only it could change something, if only his anguished yells could rip the sky apart.
It felt difficult to breathe and felt like there wasn't enough space even on the highest mountain to see far enough. He wanted to know if he broke the sky then maybe he could see, maybe he could understand, maybe Ni-ki would fall down with it. It didn't feel like Ni-ki should be up there without the rest of them; Jake had never pictured him being up there alone.
Deep inside he knew Ni-ki wasn't alone and he was probably happy and he could probably see Jake right now, but where!? He knew there was no earthly location but his aching chest still cried out for the missing piece it had lost, desperately looking for it without direction, wandering aimlessly.
The funeral was tomorrow, but Jake didn't want to go, and yet he did at the same time. He wanted to be close in any way to his friend again, but he wasn't ready to let go. He wondered if he was being selfish because letting go of Ni-ki meant more than having to say goodbye to him, it meant everything in life changing, perhaps everyone separating, nothing ever being the same again, and an aching feeling on top of all that which felt like it'd never go away.
Jake fell on his knees on the side walk and ripped at his chest with his nails, ''I hate you!'' he screamed at his heart, ''I hate you!'' He had just seen Ni-ki's family who'd come to visit them, and the looks of grief on their faces had been the last straw for him and he'd run from the dorm as soon as the Nishimuras left. He couldn't hold the pain in anymore, he couldn't bear seeing the reflection of his sadness in all the faces around him.
Why did the heart have to love?! Why did it have to hurt?! But he had no one to blame because he remembered something his grandmother told him, ''Pain only entered the world because of our mistakes, so how lucky are we that now our pain is used by God to turn us into better people? How lucky are we that some pain means we're alive, that we were kind, that we cared.''
Jake covered his face and pressed his forehead to the sidewalk, his body still shaking with sobs. He finally collapsed on the wet ground and lay like a dead thing with the rain falling on his face and adding to his tears. Perhaps the Heavens were crying with him, grieving that death had to happen and leave so much agony behind. Maybe these were God's tears, a water that despite its cold and sorrowful fall still gave life wherever it went.
Jake closed his eyes and didn't move. Let anything come, let anything happen; at the moment he didn't care.
A few days after the funeral:
YOU ARE READING
Don't You Worry, Child~ Enhypen sickfic/hurtfic/ fantasy stories/short stories
FanfictionStories I thought of while watching Enhypen's videos. (feat. BTS, TXT, Straykids)